[It's awful. The touch of Cassel's fingers on his shoulder is like someone jamming a wire directly into his nerves. Horatio spins on his heel, and it is only the very last trace of his self control that forces him to soften his hand before he slaps Cassel's arm away, before jerking back as if he's the injured party.
As if he's just been burned.]
Please. Please.
[Horatio's voice is tight and strained with anxiety. Like every muscle in him is wound tighter than a drum, hemmed in and clamped down as much as he's able.]
Please just go away. I can't-- I can't trust myself. I can't let myself--
[His teeth are gritted now, rage and restraint clawing against each other inside of him, and he brings his hands back up to dig his fingernails into his cheeks. He needs to keep them occupied. He needs to keep them away from Cassel.]
Spam - my heart aches
As if he's just been burned.]
Please. Please.
[Horatio's voice is tight and strained with anxiety. Like every muscle in him is wound tighter than a drum, hemmed in and clamped down as much as he's able.]
Please just go away. I can't-- I can't trust myself. I can't let myself--
[His teeth are gritted now, rage and restraint clawing against each other inside of him, and he brings his hands back up to dig his fingernails into his cheeks. He needs to keep them occupied. He needs to keep them away from Cassel.]
I will not hurt you again. Go away.