[He means to. He does. The trouble is the difference between what Cassel means to do and what he ends up doing. A lot of times the difference between the two is a moment of impulse, a second of stupidity, and he's broken promises and hurt people all over again.]
[But this is too important a promise to break. Mickey might break if this promise is broken, Cassel thinks, just shatter and never trust anyone again. Cassel knows what it's like not to trust anyone. He wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy.]
[He knows he can't reach out to Mickey. It's been made clear enough again and again when he turns away, when he shies from physical contact. So Cassel holds onto his own wrists, so tight he almost cuts the circulation off. Something to touch, something to hang onto so he doesn't fly away.]
Okay. Then I promise. I won't do anything stupid. . . . I won't do anything stupider than this.
spam
[But this is too important a promise to break. Mickey might break if this promise is broken, Cassel thinks, just shatter and never trust anyone again. Cassel knows what it's like not to trust anyone. He wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy.]
[He knows he can't reach out to Mickey. It's been made clear enough again and again when he turns away, when he shies from physical contact. So Cassel holds onto his own wrists, so tight he almost cuts the circulation off. Something to touch, something to hang onto so he doesn't fly away.]
Okay. Then I promise. I won't do anything stupid. . . . I won't do anything stupider than this.