[Panic. Pure panic, because crying, that's weakness, and Chris cried, too, and he's tired of making people weak, tired of making them hurt, and all of a sudden he feels like all of this is his fault. Because he messes with Zane, he knows he does, because they're the same in some ways, and the ways they're not - he wants to know how, and why.]
[Too much too far too fast, fuck, he's such an asshole. And his second thought is if Barron finds him like this - ]
I'm sorry -
[But that's not good enough.]
[Instead he pushes the fear off his face and switches to video, just his side - knows, even though he doesn't cry, hasn't cried since his father died, that nobody wants to be seen crying.]
[He presses his hand to the screen.]
[It's all he has left, and all he knows how to do.]
private/voice
[Panic. Pure panic, because crying, that's weakness, and Chris cried, too, and he's tired of making people weak, tired of making them hurt, and all of a sudden he feels like all of this is his fault. Because he messes with Zane, he knows he does, because they're the same in some ways, and the ways they're not - he wants to know how, and why.]
[Too much too far too fast, fuck, he's such an asshole. And his second thought is if Barron finds him like this - ]
I'm sorry -
[But that's not good enough.]
[Instead he pushes the fear off his face and switches to video, just his side - knows, even though he doesn't cry, hasn't cried since his father died, that nobody wants to be seen crying.]
[He presses his hand to the screen.]
[It's all he has left, and all he knows how to do.]