nobody wants to be the weak one.

fifty-five ➢ spam & voice

2015-06-27T01:47:48Z

( private messages )

spam

[Recovering from being disemboweled physically took about forty-five seconds. Recovering psychologically is taking a little bit longer. Cassel takes comfort in simple tasks and routines in the meantime, trying not to think about what happened with Creed or what happened in the Enclosure or what's going to happen next. There's this feeling like the other shoe is going to drop - not uncommon on the Barge, but not something he wants to deal with, either.]

[During the day, when he's not in the gym, he spends time in his room or in the common rooms with yarn in his lap, curled up in an armchair, knitting and purling on autopilot. He has no idea what he's making, which is usually how he goes about things. Eventually he casts off and picks it up, examining it in the light. It appears to be a tiny sweater with at least three arms.]

[He never said he was good at this.]

[At night, a lithe black cat roams the halls. To Cassel's credit, this time he's wearing a little blue collar with a name tag. On the other hand, it took him this long to come up with that, so maybe he's not so smart after all. He curls up on the backs of couches, winds between people's legs, and wanders into cabins behind their occupants, purring loudly and very insistently.]

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fifty-four ➢ spam & video

2015-05-31T02:43:14Z

spam } mickey

[Getting paired up again is exactly what he needed. He's happy about that part. That part is great. It's the rest of it that's messing him up. He's bad enough at having friends as it is; he doesn't need this shit to complicate it. If it'd been a stranger, or somebody he could pick apart without feeling bad about it--]

[But it's not. It's not, it's Mickey, the person Cassel probably feels closest to in the world right now besides Chris, and it's his job to not fuck this up.]

[Which almost guarantees that he's going to fuck this up.]

[The file arrives in his cabin as soon as the announcement goes up, teetering on the top of the pile on his desk. He just looks at it, trying to stare it down, thinking maybe it'll get up and go away again if he just waits a little while. It doesn't. So he leaves it where it is and slides out the door, heading to Mickey's cabin.]

[His knock is light, almost shy. But there's really no question about who it is, this close to the announcement.]

video } warden filter

What do you do when you get paired up with a friend? Like a really good friend.

[It seems way harder, somehow.]

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fifty-three ➢ video

2015-05-16T20:11:49Z

[Cassel's in his room, rearranging his drawer of scraps in some order discernible only to him. Ilia is perched on a high shelf, his eyes narrowed and tail twitching, disturbed by the commotion and looking ready to jump down onto Cassel's shoulders at any moment. As he rummages, Cassel addresses the camera; the moment he turns towards it, a bruise slides into view on his left temple, light and mottled black. He seems not to notice it.]

A few things. First of all, if anybody who's not all Admiral-ed up has a problem with the power outages, I think - I think I can make flashlights and lamps that don't need to be powered. [He's speaking specifically to Morgana here, but he doesn't know everybody's hangups, either, so he's leaving it open to the Barge as a whole.]

Second of all, has anybody actually gotten anywhere with the ship? Steering it or anything? Because this seems like it's getting kind of. Critical. [As Dean so astutely pointed out.]

Last thing - I know nobody cares right now, but we still need staff for the gym. At least one more person. If you feel like going slightly less stir-crazy while we're marooned in the middle of nowhere, apply now.

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fifty-two ➢ spam

2015-04-15T18:27:23Z

[Cassel has no idea that anything bad is happening on the ship. In fact, he has no idea where the ship is, a fact that's freaking him out considerably less than it usually would be.]

[Why? Because all around him is weirdness the likes of which he's never seen before. He's seen at least five Batmans in the crowd already, and six Lokis. It reminds him of the hustle and bustle of Carney, with everyone having something to say and something for sale, having to elbow through the crowd to get anywhere.]

[He thinks he's in love with this place.]

[Come find him anywhere at the con, where he will be walking down the booths with a shit-eating grin on his face.]

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fifty-one ➢ text

2015-04-01T22:29:43Z

wichita's gone. her cabin's blank.

first one of the month, i guess.

spam } morgause ( tw; self-injury )

[He's been spending a lot of time as a cat lately. If you asked him why, he wouldn't be able to tell you. Probably he'd say something snide like four legs are better than one and then change the subject, like you wouldn't notice the stunt he was trying to pull.]

[The truth is twofold. He wants to hurt. Very badly, even now, he wants to hurt. It's self-flagellating, because Kon's suit is tucked away in his closet gathering dust, and there's nothing to protect him from pain anymore.]

[The other reason is that he misses home, and this form is inextricably connected with his home. The feel of fur down his back reminds him of Lila in his bed, and missing her is a familiar, if dulled, ache. Another way to hurt is remembering.]

[When he sees Morgause vanishing down the hall after breakfast, he follows after her. Not because he likes her - he doesn't know her from Adam - but because she's Morgana's, and Morgana is (tangentially) his. His paws tread silently down the hall behind her, but she might notice him by a prickling at the back of her neck: he's staring at her, unwavering, unblinking.]

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fifty ➢ video ( cw bodyhorror )

2015-03-23T17:31:40Z

video

This is bullshit.

["This" being the black, silky ears he's sprouted in the wake of the flood. His long tail, equally black and twitching with irritation, pokes out from under his blanket, where he's curled up and sulking. The camera's at a skewed angle, balanced on the edge of his pillow.]

I just woke up like this. I didn't even do it. If it's gonna happen, I want to at least be the one to do it. I want . . .

[He trails off, his eyes distant and dull. When they snap back into focus, he sits up slowly, blankets falling around him, and narrows his eyes.]

It's supposed to hurt.

[And then he begins to change: skin rippling, body changing, limbs twisting. He grows a third arm, and then a fourth, the new ones vestigial, skinless, ugly. Growths emerge across his face, limning his high cheekbones. He curls up in the fetal position; you can hear bones crack, shift, curl, and break. All the while he's crying out in a dog's whine, an ugly helpless yet somehow angry noise. The blankets tangle around his shifting feet as they grow bark and tentacles and recede into stubs.]

[Eventually, endlessly, he is still. The ears and tail have gone completely.]

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forty-nine ➢ spam

2015-01-22T02:17:09Z

[All of a sudden, Cassel isn't anywhere.]

[He doesn't show up at the gym to work. He doesn't show up in the dining hall to eat - in fact, he's been noticeably absent from the public space for several days now. His door doesn't open. He doesn't emerge, and nobody seems to be going in, either.]

[He stays huddled in his room, in Sam's bed, not his own, blankets up to his ears. He sleeps. He hides. He doesn't speak; anyone who tries to get in contact with him receives brusque texts back, if they get anything.]

[On the third day after being fixed - nominally fixed, anyway - he eats a cracker and considers it a personal victory.]

[On the fourth day, a small black cat accompanies Ilia out into the halls, skulking by his side and hiding his face in the fan of the larger cat's tail.]

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forty-eight ➢ spam + private + video

2015-01-01T21:09:35Z

spam } open

[Cassel starts the new year off hungover. He rises late after karaoke, but he does rise, his limbs feeling heavy and leaden as he heads to the gym.]

[It's weird; he's got the craziest feeling that time is pressing down on him, that if he doesn't start off this year right he'll be letting everybody down. That everyone he passes is looking at him, too. Paranoia left over from seeing his family, probably, but it feels real. He smiles at everyone who comes in as he's cleaning and tidying, doing the work he didn't do over the past few days, but he feels hemmed in, overwhelmed, pushed against by anything and everything.]

[Those who know him well might notice he's frowning more and smiling wider when he smiles at all. His masks aren't as good as they should be. He complains loudly and with good cheer about the food at lunch in the dining hall, sits down with near-strangers, touches the people he loves on the back as he passes their tables.]

private } chris

Hey, so. What the hell is Mickey's deal anyway?

private } wichita

You and me, we've got a date. You ready?

filter } inmates

Yo, so anybody who uses the gym on a regular basis might have noticed it's kind of trashed at the moment. That's my bad, I'm sorry about it. I haven't figured out how to clone myself, so for the time being it's just me working in there.

I need a magician's assistant. Anybody interested? Perks include me liking you, your theoretical warden getting off your ass a little bit, not being bored to death, and karma points.

( ooc; cassel is still emotion-worked! as detailed in these posts. pp for more details if desired! )

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forty-seven ➢ video

2014-12-11T23:13:07Z

So, now that everybody's not infants anymore, we're leaving. For a while. Going to Chris's world and mine.

[Cassel looks the tiniest bit uncertain about this, glancing to Chris like you take this, I don't know what else to say.]

Yeah, so nobody blow up the ship while we're gone. Iris, can you watch the dogs? And Loki, you were an adorable kid and I'll bring back Oreos if you promise not to do anything stupid while I'm gone.

Anyway, we should be back in just a couple of days, hopefully [hopefully?? definitely?? help], at least in Barge time. So nobody break shit.

Oh, and we're kidnapping Scott.

Scottyyydog. Vamanos.

( ooc; cassel and chris are going to kick-ass land and then curse workers land. during their time in cassel's world they're going to be worked by cassel's mom to essentially switch personalities for a little while. more on this in return posts, which will be monday-ish! )

( cut for gift list! )

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forty-six ➢ spam + video

2014-12-08T18:44:18Z

[Anywhere Cassel could conceivably be underfoot, he absolutely is. Trying to get something done in the infirmary? He's standing right by your leg, staring up at you and hoping for a snack. Trying to get into the Enclosure? Here he is already, trying to pick the lock with his teeny-tiny fingers. Trying to go to the bathroom? He's waiting by the door.]

[Find him anywhere and everywhere that's least convenient and most annoying.]

video

[As soon as Cassel figures out how to use the camera on this thing, he starts recording and broadcasting everything even remotely interesting to the network. For example, he finds a nice flower in the greenhouse and broadcasts that. He likes Barbara's shoes, records those, shows everybody.]

[But his penultimate broadcast is when he finds his Christmas sweater. His communicator is balanced at the edge of his desk in his room, while he holds the sweater up above his head, stretched out on tiptoes so it doesn't brush the floor.]

It's too big! [He is so angry about this. He wants to wear it right now.]

( ooc; replies coming from brothermayi! )

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forty-five ➢ video

2014-11-17T18:47:39Z

So, I know she talked to some of you about this already. But I thought I'd make sure everybody knew, so nobody worries-- I--

Needy graduated. She didn't go home, yet, probably because her home's total bullshit [and he's pretty sure she's still wanted there??]. Sunny, haunted Beacon Hills, California was the destination of choice, for those of you who really need to know.

Anybody who wanted to say goodbye and didn't get a chance to, um, I can probably get a message to her. And by "I can get a message to her" I mean "I can have Iris get a message to her".

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forty-four ➢ spam/text + video

2014-11-15T04:18:18Z

( chris. )

public } video

[A few hours later: find Cassel, peeved, broadcasting into all of your . . . wherever you happen to be at the moment. He's never been this angry in his life. (Lie.)]

Someone tell me it's all a horrible dream and I didn't seriously miss Amsterdam.

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forty-three ➢ private + spam

2014-09-26T23:49:27Z

private, separately } daneca, chris, anya, mickey

[Cassel sounds earnest, looks drawn. For all the world like he's really scared but trying to hide it to make people feel better.]

You there? Hey, look, if you're out there alone we should meet up. Everybody's going fucking insane.

. . . Er. Insane-er.

spam

[When he's with people, or when he knows people are watching, Cassel looks - not helpless, but weak, exhausted, overwhelmed. He projects through the crease between his brows and the tense hunch in his shoulders the perfect image of a boy who has done this too many times before and just wants to rest, just rest, get away. His disguise is almost flawless. He's very good at what he does, after all.]

[But catch him off guard and you'll see him for what he is: calculating, every minute, every second. His eyes are what give him away best of all. They're ice cold unless he makes himself put on the friendly face, which grates on him; he tries to get away without it whenever possible.]

[When it's his turn to watch the camp while the others rest, he goes a little farther out than strictly necessary, stepping deliberately outside the boundaries of camp to patrol for easy prey, for trespassers. He doesn't want to win this - honestly, despite his own heady narcissism, he doesn't think he can win a contest of brute force like this - but he can survive, and he can get a little revenge while he does it.]

( ooc; cassel is SWAPPED but stridently pretending not to be, deets here & here. )

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forty-two ➢ video + private + spam

2014-09-09T20:05:01Z

Whoever brings me ibuprofen and weed first gets to be my best friend for the next week.

What'd I miss? Needy, where the fuck are you? Where's my cat?

private } daneca

Was there a flood? I heard there was a flood. Did it get you?

spam } open

[The first thing Cassel does - after a really solid lunch and a long shower - is get down to the gym. He doesn't know what's happened to Mindy, but it seems like he's on his own here for a little while. So he meanders through the gym equipment, cleaning, re-organizing, and very obviously brooding.]

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forty-one ➢ video

2014-08-20T12:14:54Z

I'm looking for Barron Sharpe.

. . . Anyone, I guess. But Barron especially.

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forty ➢ private + spam

2014-07-16T00:58:40Z

private } needy

hey which two of these things do you hate the sound of least

☐ book club
☐ art therapy
☐ cats
☐ gardening
☐ baking
☐ learning how to knife fight

gift + open spam

[Call it Christmas in July. Call it boredom. Call it a pathological need for attention. Whatever you want to call it, gifts start showing up, ever so mysteriously, at people's doors and in common rooms throughout the week of the fourteenth.]

( Daneca, Cass, Iris, Mira, Horatio, Needy, Chris, Slevin, Gwen, Anya, Scott, Zane )

[Other gifts, less personalized, show up at random in all of the common rooms - some, too, as centerpieces in the middle of dining hall tables, or balanced on treadmills in the gym. Most are made of sandstone or copper, new materials he is working with, while some are glass or ceramic, old favorites; all are about a hand's span across.]

[There is one little sculpture that look suspiciously like a three-dimensional Mona Lisa with a fauxhawk. There are many flowers, some real and some utterly imaginary. There is only one cat, the pale gray of unglazed clay, with the inscription HA HA underneath it. There are relatively few twisted human bodies in the mix, but there are a couple (though none in the dining hall). Otherwise, it's a mishmash of animals, plants, random letters, and impenetrably abstract shapes.]

[Cassel himself can be found coming and going from these drop-offs if you're very sneaky, or in the gym, where he not only works every day but practices with renewed vigor with his butterfly knife. He is pretty sure that now that Cass is back, he has something to prove with it. He doesn't know what, but whatever it is, he'll get to it just as quick as he can.]

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thirty-nine ➢ voice & spam

2014-07-02T19:19:26Z

Needy's in a coma. Nobody gets to draw on her.

[With the obvious exception of him.]

[And this time he doesn't light a candle in the chapel. Doing so would be implicit admission of his own doubt that she'd wake up.]

[She will. She's too goddamn alive to vanish like she never was.]

[Instead he treats this like an extended study and planning period. He can almost always be found in the library or on the deck, ready heavy, dusty tomes on demonology.]

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thirty-eight ➢ private video & spam

2014-06-16T00:49:47Z

( private } horatio, daneca, & needy )

open spam } gardens

[He sits under a tree, making statues.]

[Maybe this will frighten people, now that they have some context: he's got his gloves off, folded carefully at his side. There is scrap metal - soda cans and piles of paper clips - by his knee. This he uses to build his statues, long, thin, somewhat overwrought looking things, melded and twisted by his transformation into something vaguely human.]

[Occasionally he pauses and takes a sip of the open mug of steaming coffee at his other knee. Then he goes back to building ugliness.]

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thirty-seven ➢ psychic spam & voice

2014-06-11T21:06:11Z

[Open season to any psychics around: a bad dream. Or a memory, but fantastical enough to masquerade as a simple dream. It's about justice, and games, and a carnival death. It's about entertainment, and about despair.]

( cw torture/gore/tl;dr/dangan ronpa )

[And he wakes up. Sulkily turns on the network and speaks plaintively, too shell-shocked by his own mind and memory to censor himself.]

I dreamed about that goddamn bear again. Let me into the pub.

( ooc; cassel is a super high school level gambler from dangan ronpa! he was also super murdered by monobear. feel free to pick up on that if your character has psychic powers. more info here. )

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thirty-six ➢ video

2014-06-02T23:22:57Z

Okay, everybody, I realize we're all busy, busy people with busy, busy prison lives, but there's something important that needs addressing, and that is: I need my beauty sleep.

Which means I can't keep working double shifts in the gym.

Which means one or two of you assholes should come help me out.

Bored inmates get priority over bored wardens, prerequisites include being able to Windex stuff, and if you try to stab me in the back I'll turn you into a fish.

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thirty-five ➢ spam {backdated}

2014-05-14T04:28:24Z

spam } barge, day 1

[Cassel remembers the time before. Most of it. The week between, not so much. So he walks into this with no context, no ideas, just a memory of who he was, what he's probably done. He wakes up on this Barge terrified.]

[But if he acts terrified, he dies. Probably, if he has any guess, over and over again. Because that's the kind of person he was here: the kid who killed for fun, who pulled the metaphorical wings off flies to see what would happen, who turned his inmate into a half-bird-half-bat horror on days ending in Y, as punishment, as whatever. A cruel son of a bitch.]

[So, okay. He can play that for a while. At least until he tears this place down. (Or tries to stay alive. Either way.)]

[When he leaves his cabin, he walks around without his gloves on. His bare fingers are a threat of transformation. He'll do it anywhere, everywhere, hurt anyone for the fun of it. Or at least that's what his face says. The promise doesn't quite reach his eyes.]

spam } port, days 2-4

[If the message he receives confuses him, the port confuses him even more. He has no idea when the last port was, when he was here last. It doesn't make sense to let people go, unless they'll all just be tugged back like normal. But nothing's working - how does the Admiral know that will? Does he know anything? Or is this someone else at the wheel entirely?]

[Cassel almost stays aboard. But people he likes - correction: people he runs with, because he doesn't have friends here - go into the city, so he follows with, to see what he can see. Out here, he wears gloves. Out here, he's wary.]

[Soon enough, he learns that he should be.]

( ooc; cassel is unaffected for the desperate to deliver plot! his mirror barge backstory is here. after day 4, he will be in hiding on the planet after bucky outs him. )

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thirty-four ➢ voice + spam

2014-04-21T22:44:13Z

Czeslaw's gone. His door and everything is blank.

. . . I don't really think he made many friends while he was here, but. I'm going to light a candle for him, if anybody wants to join me.

spam } chapel

[It's quiet and still in here, which is good; it matches how Cassel is feeling. Quiet and still, like a windless world. He doesn't know what to make of this reaction. He can feel himself grieving, but it's muted, as though muffled by layers and layers of cloth.]

[With aching fingers he carves Czeslaw's name into a white candle, uses his lighter to light it. After a moment of watching the flame, he carves another name - Slevin's - into another candle, and Daneca's into a third, and hopes (doesn't pray) that they wake.]

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thirty-three ➢ spam + private

2014-03-20T20:57:39Z

spam } infirmary & 7-09, open

[Everything hurts. Everything on his body and the space behind his eyes, every cell and every neuron, hurts. It's so much worse this time that for a while Cassel isn't sure he's not hallucinating. But no. This is real. The crunch of bone he keeps feeling, that's some kind of psychosomatic memory, but the rest of the pain is completely real.]

[He stays in the infirmary until he stops feeling like he's dying over and over; then he slinks to his room and curls up in bed with the covers over his head and Ilia curled up irritably at his side.]

( & various private messages. )

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thirty-two ➢ various spam, backdated

2014-03-16T03:20:01Z

spam } barge, open to red-pilled

[He wakes up rested, with a dry throat and aching, as though he's been sleepwalking. But more important than that: he wakes up to quiet.]

[The Barge is never quiet. Not ever. There's something wrong.]

[When he manages to push himself upright on the bed, he can feel it in the air, too - everything's too still, like no one's moving. Not even the rustling of people adjusting in their sleep. Like the ship is empty. But it can't be.]

[Slowly, he makes his way to the door and steps out into the empty halls to begin his search. If there's anyone else around and awake, he'll find them. If not - well.]

[He'll figure that out later.]

( ooc; FIND CASSEL ANYWHERE YO )

broadcast } home, open to anyone especially red-pilled

[When he wakes up again - or, he guesses, goes back to sleep; the distinction is muddy and confusing, and so he tries to stay away from it - he just stares at his hands for a while. They're bare here, and it unsettles him more than anything else because it's something to grab onto. Everything else is too goddamn abstract. This, though. This he can freak out about.]

[When he's done doing that, he opens several random broadcasts to various people - allies, enemies, it doesn't really matter at this point. Anyone. All of them say the same thing:]

I just had the strangest dream.

( ooc; ANYONE CAN RECEIVE THIS MESSAGE, DO THE THING )

( today, it's in the air again today. )

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thirty-one ➢ various private + open spam

2014-02-28T17:27:34Z

( the audience is walking out the room. )

spam } open

[What free time he has he spends in the gardens, sitting quietly and reading in the flowers. Sometimes his eyes are barely open; though he still turns pages, it's more out of the habit of movement than anything else. The breeze on his face isn't exactly real, but it feels real enough that he leans into it, a small smile forming on his lips, book tumbling unnoticed from his fingers to the grass below.]

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