twenty-nine ➢ spam

[patheticvillain]

spam } various times 1/24-1/28

[There is a small, slim, and unfamiliar black cat walking the Barge this weekend. A familiar item hangs around his neck: two coins fused together by supernatural strength, hung on a leather thong. With it, the cat seems to pass freely throughout the ship, though he clings to shadows in the hallways.]

[Most often, he can be found in common rooms, curled up on the best chair and watching the goings-on with barely-open yellow eyes. In the gardens, he naps in the flower beds and climbs into the thickest parts of low-growing trees. Here and there he can be found in boxes where he probably isn't supposed to be, seeming to look for small spaces and pressing himself into corners.]

[He also makes his best efforts to trip people, looking incredibly smug with every success.]

spam } vesper

[Don't ask how he got in here. Some things it's better not to question. But he's found Vesper's paperwork, which is suddenly the most fascinating and important thing in the world.]

[Whenever she comes back, he's rolling on his back in the middle of a mess of papers. Which are his now.]

Comments

[semifreakingnormal]

[Cassel. You're adorable. Like super adorable. Scott was actually really sad that cats started hating him, so he's a tiny bit wary, but. You know. Super Vet.]

Hey, kitty. [He approaches slowly in the hall, smiling.] What're you doing out here?

[patheticvillain]

[He doesn't hate you! Because he's not really a cat. Sorry bro, cats probably still hate you.]

[He trots over to Scott happily, then commences with Operation Wind In And Out Of Legs Until Death Or Near-Death Experience.]

[semifreakingnormal]

[A cat that doesn't hate him! This is a great day!!

Although the winding happens as he's still walking and murder attempts are less great, because Scott totally does the twitch-spin-hop thing and eventually tumbles onto his hands.

Gj Catsel. Scott looks up and down the hall.]

Okay, don't tell anyone about that.

[patheticvillain]

[Heheheheheh. He climbs on Scott's back and sits on him like a throne.]

[This meow is a cat laugh.]

[semifreakingnormal]

[Such a dick. Scott snorts, and just props his chin on his fist for a moment before twisting to get a look at the cat.] If I find you tuna, it can be our little secret.

[patheticvillain]

[He doesn't even like tuna.]

[. . . Wait, what is he saying. He loves tuna.]

[He hops off Scott's back and rubs his face against Scott's face. We got a deal B(]

[semifreakingnormal]

[Oh my god a cat is rubbing his face and not hissing and spitting!!!!

Great day again!!!

Scott rubs his head and stands, brushing himself off and straightening his jacket.]

Follow me?

[patheticvillain]

[Absolutely Cassel is following him. Admittedly he's walking close enough to Scott's legs that Scott is in perpetual danger of being tripped again, so it's less following and more almost-riding-on-the-shoes-of, but that's, like, almost the same.]

[After a moment, he looks up at Scott curiously and yowls. Where the fuck are they going, is it the dining hall, will you keep him from getting trampled if so?]

[semifreakingnormal]

[That is so not almost the same.]

You're so gonna trip me again. [Yes they are going to the fucking dining hall and jesus you scaredy cat. Scott bends down to pick him up, although that's mostly to avoid stepping on or tripping over him.]

[patheticvillain]

[This should probably weird, but it's mostly just comfortable. At least Scott knows how to hold a cat. Cassel eyes him weirdly for a moment, then does the cat version of a shrug and puts his paws on Scott's shoulder to watch the hallway receding behind them.]

[semifreakingnormal]

[He's super good at holding cats, he used to hold them for shots and exams all the time before they started hating his everything. He even scratches the back of his head while he walks.

And he might make all the essential cute kitty sounds. Quietly. So no one else can overhear.]

[patheticvillain]

[Cassel is committing all of this to memory and Scott will be blackmailed later, BUT for now he is just sort of enjoy it. It's like having a warm chair to take you everywhere, only it smells weird. He purrs in Scott's ear as a reward, because he is benevolent.]

[semifreakingnormal]

[Don't be a dick Cassel, just let him love you.

And he so does not smell weird.

He does smile at the purring because cats are pretty cool in the end. That's how he enters the mess hall, a dumb smile on his face and a cat held to his shoulder. In the pantry, he roots around and finds a can of tuna. And in lieu of a can opener, he...grows a nail to cut it open. shhh.]

[patheticvillain]

[Cassel goes wide-eyed and curious at the claw thing. That is so cool every time he sees it, holy wow. But it's also kind of lazy. Scott is so ridiculous.]

[He claws his way up onto Scott's shoulder and leans against his head, slapping his neck with his tail and staring at the food. He should probably be less pathetic about tuna, but whatever.]

[semifreakingnormal]

[He is pretty cool. u_u ......And very lazy, so. Yeah. He lets Cassel climb up, because whatever claw marks those claws might leave heal pretty instantly. He does glance around to make sure no one saw the claw thing because habits die hard. Tossing the lid, he goes to put the tuna down, pauses, and decides to just hold it up for Catsel.

You're welcome buddy.]

[patheticvillain]

[He looks at the open can of tuna, then at Scott's hand, then at the cabinets where the plates are. Then he looks Scott directly in the eye, shakes his head slowly, and yowls.]

[Really, dude?]

[semifreakingnormal]

[Wow. You are the pickiest cat.

Also:] Did you just shake your head? [What is. Huh. He looks over at the plates, and with the MOST perturbed look, grabs one and dumps the tuna on it.]

[patheticvillain]

[Good. He nods, then purrs loudly and goes after the food, leaping onto the floor after it.]

[semifreakingnormal]

What the hell?

[He crouches down to watch, leaning in to mostly hide the way his eyes turn gold as he goes to wolf-o-vision.

Which really tells him nothing except prey, but he does also sniff in the general air over Catsel. This shit is weird. And he feels weird. And just sits back on his heels with a groan.]

[patheticvillain]

[Cassel completely ignores Scott's distress, eating his fill before turning back to him and licking his lips.]

[Wait, dude, what is your problem. He trots over to him and winds around his ankles again.]

[semifreakingnormal]

[Scott tips back and catches himself on his hands, because he is the only werewolf who can be made to fall over by a cat while already crouching.]

Full? Wanna travel first class again?

[patheticvillain]

[Yes. Yes he does. He is going to stand next to your hand until you pick him up and carry him around wherever he wants to go.]

[Scott you are so much fun as a chauffeur c8]

[semifreakingnormal]

[He has his uses okay u_u Scott laughs, and rolls his eyes, and picks Catsel up again, settling him against his shoulder and scratching the top of his head lightly.]

I should probably figure out who you belong to at some point.

[patheticvillain]

[Settling his chin against the top of Scott's head, he deliberately bangs his warden item against his ear. Because the answer is no one, Scott. He is a free agent. He is large and in charge.]

[Small and in charge.]

[Something.]

[semifreakingnormal]

[Scott twitches his head back when the Item smacks his ear, but he turns, balancing Cassel fairly carefully as he reaches for the collar. At least, that's what he thought it was.

It's mostly an accident, that he gets a whiff of it: he just breathes in at the right moment. that's pretty much when he holds the cat out at arm's length.]

Cassel?