Ｃａｓｓｅｌ Ｓｈａｒｐｅ. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
patheticvillain) wrote2014-01-24 07:13 pm
patheticvillain) wrote2014-01-24 07:13 pm
Entry tags:
- bag of every cat,
- bitey cat,
- bouquet of cats,
- cassel no,
- cat metaphors,
- cat realities,
- dramatic yet unhelpful,
- goddamnit all these shenanigans,
- he means well really,
- hissy cat,
- lila & the cage,
- mean cat,
- metaphors!!,
- poor life choices tm,
- sharpe is douchebag for troll,
- super accountant strikes again,
- this cat will bite you,
- this is a really bad idea,
- this is the angry cat,
- vesper lynd: badass accountant
twenty-nine ➢ spam
spam } various times 1/24-1/28
[There is a small, slim, and unfamiliar black cat walking the Barge this weekend. A familiar item hangs around his neck: two coins fused together by supernatural strength, hung on a leather thong. With it, the cat seems to pass freely throughout the ship, though he clings to shadows in the hallways.]
[Most often, he can be found in common rooms, curled up on the best chair and watching the goings-on with barely-open yellow eyes. In the gardens, he naps in the flower beds and climbs into the thickest parts of low-growing trees. Here and there he can be found in boxes where he probably isn't supposed to be, seeming to look for small spaces and pressing himself into corners.]
[He also makes his best efforts to trip people, looking incredibly smug with every success.]
spam } vesper
[Don't ask how he got in here. Some things it's better not to question. But he's found Vesper's paperwork, which is suddenly the most fascinating and important thing in the world.]
[Whenever she comes back, he's rolling on his back in the middle of a mess of papers. Which are his now.]
[There is a small, slim, and unfamiliar black cat walking the Barge this weekend. A familiar item hangs around his neck: two coins fused together by supernatural strength, hung on a leather thong. With it, the cat seems to pass freely throughout the ship, though he clings to shadows in the hallways.]
[Most often, he can be found in common rooms, curled up on the best chair and watching the goings-on with barely-open yellow eyes. In the gardens, he naps in the flower beds and climbs into the thickest parts of low-growing trees. Here and there he can be found in boxes where he probably isn't supposed to be, seeming to look for small spaces and pressing himself into corners.]
[He also makes his best efforts to trip people, looking incredibly smug with every success.]
spam } vesper
[Don't ask how he got in here. Some things it's better not to question. But he's found Vesper's paperwork, which is suddenly the most fascinating and important thing in the world.]
[Whenever she comes back, he's rolling on his back in the middle of a mess of papers. Which are his now.]
[Spam]
[Cat is superior.]
[Spam]
[That is, until Chris finally limps into the room after his dog to collect it]
What the goddamn fuck, Bowie. C'mere, you little shit..
[Spam]
[Spam]
What? Bowie, you want it? You want the kitty cat?
[And he begins sloooowly lowering the frantic Pom down towards the back of the couch. Bowie's legs pump frantically in midair, anxious to be set down so he can tear after the kitty. But not before Chris swoops him back up in his arms]
Well, too fucking bad, you idiot. No. Bad dog.
[Spam]
[Then he reaches his paw out to bat at the space in the air where Chris's hands were a minute ago.]
[Spam]
Oh, what? You got something to say to me?
[Spam]
[Because he is. He is fucking adorable.]
[Spam]
[he returns the dog to his arms, looking around for a sign of who owns Cassel]
Great. Talking to a stupid cat.
[Spam]
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[Chris shakes his arm to dislodge Cassel, dropping Bowie in the process. Bowie takes the opportunity to lunge for Cassel, leaping on top of him and biting his poor little ear]
[Spam]
[Spam]
Chris looks at the tussle of cat and dog, gingerly setting his hands in the mix to try and get his stupid dog off stupid cat]
You little fucker, Bowie, let the cat go! Bad! Bad dog!
[Spam]
[Fingers also start happening; he reaches back to flick Bowie on the ear and growl at him, a still-mostly-feline sound.]
[Spam]
Oh...fuck.
[Bowie, on the other hand, recognizes Cassel only as a much larger cat than usual but still a cat, with more meat to dig his sharp little teeth into. He growls back, remaining locked onto Cassel even as he shifts]
[Spam]
[Once he's mostly human again, he grabs Bowie by the scruff of the neck and stares at him with weary patience.]
Bad dog. Let go.
[Spam]
Dude, Cassel, I didn't know it was you. Fuck, man. You gotta warn me when you go cat.
Uh, how's your ear..?
[Spam]
[It's actually kind of bleeding, but. Shut up.]
[He hands Bowie back to Chris and cracks his neck.]
I am going to just go ahead and admit I could have planned that one better.
[Spam]
Bad. Bad dog.
[This does nothing except make Bowie strain to lick Chris' face]
Next time you go cat, make yourself a cat with lasers for eyes.
[Spam]
I love you so much. Why didn't I think of that? I could literally be a cat with laser eyes.
Re: [Spam]
What is wrong with you? That's like the third fucking thing I'd do if I had your powers!
Asshole..
[Spam]
[Spam]
[He is literally the most maturest]
[Spam]
[He's probably joking, but you never know.]
[Spam]
[Spam]
That's really fucked up. You need to take a look at your life choices.
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