thirty-four ➢ voice + spam

[patheticvillain]

Czeslaw's gone. His door and everything is blank.

. . . I don't really think he made many friends while he was here, but. I'm going to light a candle for him, if anybody wants to join me.

spam } chapel

[It's quiet and still in here, which is good; it matches how Cassel is feeling. Quiet and still, like a windless world. He doesn't know what to make of this reaction. He can feel himself grieving, but it's muted, as though muffled by layers and layers of cloth.]

[With aching fingers he carves Czeslaw's name into a white candle, uses his lighter to light it. After a moment of watching the flame, he carves another name - Slevin's - into another candle, and Daneca's into a third, and hopes (doesn't pray) that they wake.]

Comments

[mistconduct]

...Maybe he wasn't ready. Or maybe life's just fucked like that.


I dunno. Don't put your shit on top of his life. It's just gonna make you feel worse.

[patheticvillain]

Yeah. Maybe life's just fucked like that.

What would you do if Slevin disappeared, though?

[mistconduct]

...Get really drunk and pissed off, probably. Blame myself.

[patheticvillain]

Yeah.

Do you want to get really drunk? Later.

[mistconduct]

Possibly. Yeah.

Do you?

[patheticvillain]

I'm pretty sure I need to. Just rather do it with you than someone else.

[mistconduct]

Okay. So we'll get drunk in your room tonight and...I got nothing else.

[patheticvillain]

Pass out like pathetic losers and maybe figure out a way to convince Slevin to get wasted with us when he wakes up.

That's a decent way to grieve, right?

[mistconduct]

I'd consider that an evening well-spent. Fuck it, let's do that.

[patheticvillain]

Best wardens in this place.

[He's silent for a minute.]

Do you believe in the afterlife?

[mistconduct]

Well, I'm Catholic, so....maybe?

[patheticvillain]

That's not a very definitive response.

[mistconduct]

I mean, I guess I do. I died. I came here. The Barge counts as an afterlife, so why can't there be more than one?

[patheticvillain]

It is a pretty compelling argument.

What do you think it's like? The other one. Or ones. Or, you know.

[mistconduct]

Dude, I have no fucking idea. I really don't. Angels and clouds and harps?

Jesus. I guess it all depends.

[patheticvillain]

I hope it's somewhere with no pain.

[mistconduct]

Maybe only if you're a good person.

[patheticvillain]

Wouldn't you go to hell otherwise?

[mistconduct]

You believe hell exists?

[patheticvillain]

I don't know. Maybe.

For a little while I thought this place was hell. But I don't anymore, obviously.

[mistconduct]

Nah, here's not Hell. Too much good shit happens here. Maybe it's Limbo.

[patheticvillain]

Maybe.

I always thought I'd go to Hell if there was one. Before people knocked sense into me. Limbo's pretty lucky, considering.

But I think if it's Limbo, Czeslaw will come back sometime. His whole life's been limbo. It only makes sense.

[mistconduct]

Maybe he will, then. Maybe it just wasn't his time.

People come back. You can't stop them from going.

[patheticvillain]

Nah. I can't stop them from going.

[He laughs, though it sounds a little brittle.]

Dean says I get too attached to people too quickly, though.

[mistconduct]

Dean's one to talk. He's clingy like goddamn velcro. Don't listen to his shit.