thirty-six ➢ video

[patheticvillain]

Okay, everybody, I realize we're all busy, busy people with busy, busy prison lives, but there's something important that needs addressing, and that is: I need my beauty sleep.

Which means I can't keep working double shifts in the gym.

Which means one or two of you assholes should come help me out.

Bored inmates get priority over bored wardens, prerequisites include being able to Windex stuff, and if you try to stab me in the back I'll turn you into a fish.

Comments

[imfollowinghim]

So, outta curiosity, can you only turn people into animals?

[Because he's seen you threaten that a lot thus far, and he's genuinely interested. :|a]

[patheticvillain]

I could turn you into a stick instead, but then you'd be dead.

[imfollowinghim]

Fair enough.

How'd that happen?

[patheticvillain]

You turning into a stick? It didn't yet.

[Obfuscates obfuscates.]

[imfollowinghim]

I meant, were you born with it or did some scientist pump you full of chemicals to fight whatever Hitler asshole you've got where you're from?

[patheticvillain]

[brb he's just going to laugh for a hot minute here]

[still laughing]

[continuing to laugh]

[ok we're good]

I'm not a soldier. Or a superhero. Christ. It's all-natural. And I definitely never fought Hitler.

[imfollowinghim]

Stuff like this is a lot less common where I'm from. Cut me some slack.

[patheticvillain]

I'm just thrilled that that's your criteria. Were you born with it or did someone make you that way to fight Hitler. Your world is fucked.

There are plenty of people like this where I'm from. I mean, not this this. But with work. Magic. Whatever.

[imfollowinghim]

I never tried to say it wasn't.

And you guys can all do the same stuff?

[patheticvillain]

Different stuff. My brother can pick your memories right out of your head. He's not here anymore. Lucky you. And my grandad can kill you with a touch.

[imfollowinghim]

If he was here, you'd probably buy that I'm not planning on stabbing you any time soon.

[patheticvillain]

Nah, I buy that already. If he was here I think you'd definitely want to stab me so you could stab him by proxy.

[imfollowinghim]

That bad, huh?

[patheticvillain]

I mean. I'm slightly biased.

He got a lot better. You'd probably only want to proxy stab me a little.

[imfollowinghim]

Nice to know this place does work. Sort of.

[patheticvillain]

Worked for me. Don't tell anybody, but I actually don't turn people into animals most of the time.

[imfollowinghim]

Pretty decent threat to make, as far as those go.

[patheticvillain]

Yep. That's why I haven't given up making it.

[imfollowinghim]

It get you a lot of traction?

[patheticvillain]

Some. But not from the people I want traction with.

[imfollowinghim]

That's too bad.