thirty-six ➢ video

[patheticvillain]

Okay, everybody, I realize we're all busy, busy people with busy, busy prison lives, but there's something important that needs addressing, and that is: I need my beauty sleep.

Which means I can't keep working double shifts in the gym.

Which means one or two of you assholes should come help me out.

Bored inmates get priority over bored wardens, prerequisites include being able to Windex stuff, and if you try to stab me in the back I'll turn you into a fish.

Comments

[notsoneedy]

Guess that's what happens when you have such a highly selective recruiting process.

[patheticvillain]

Um, are you saying that the Admiral throwing darts at a board shaped like the universe and just going wherever the dart hits isn't highly selective? Is that what I'm getting here?

[notsoneedy]

Not unless he's one of those crazy skilled superfreaks you see on the internet that can hit any small target perfectly every time.

And you know what, no. Even then.

[patheticvillain]

Yeah, I think he crashes too often for anyone to ever apply the word perfect to him.

[notsoneedy]

No way. Not after all the shit I'm already hearing.

So are you getting any takers so far? Or sorry, 'volunteers'.

[patheticvillain]

Um, one who . . . says she's not into killing me, so I'm gonna take her word on that. Maybe two, but the other one doesn't know how to use Windex.

Why, you wanna help out?

[notsoneedy]

I dunno, I think I should settle in a bit more, before I start volunteering for hands-on shit. But if you're still understaffed later, ask me again, I guess.

Also who the fuck doesn't know how to use Windex?

[patheticvillain]

Cool. I totally will.

I don't know, people from the Middle Ages? They just had plagues back then.

[notsoneedy]

I don't think they were literally wiping stuff down with plague as opposed to cleaning it.

[patheticvillain]

Seriously? I should have actually paid attention in history.

[notsoneedy]

Yeah, maybe that would have helped. [She's laughing though.]