fifty-three ➢ video

[patheticvillain]

[Cassel's in his room, rearranging his drawer of scraps in some order discernible only to him. Ilia is perched on a high shelf, his eyes narrowed and tail twitching, disturbed by the commotion and looking ready to jump down onto Cassel's shoulders at any moment. As he rummages, Cassel addresses the camera; the moment he turns towards it, a bruise slides into view on his left temple, light and mottled black. He seems not to notice it.]

A few things. First of all, if anybody who's not all Admiral-ed up has a problem with the power outages, I think - I think I can make flashlights and lamps that don't need to be powered. [He's speaking specifically to Morgana here, but he doesn't know everybody's hangups, either, so he's leaving it open to the Barge as a whole.]

Second of all, has anybody actually gotten anywhere with the ship? Steering it or anything? Because this seems like it's getting kind of. Critical. [As Dean so astutely pointed out.]

Last thing - I know nobody cares right now, but we still need staff for the gym. At least one more person. If you feel like going slightly less stir-crazy while we're marooned in the middle of nowhere, apply now.

Comments

private

[patheticvillain]

Lots of reasons. But mostly because I wanted her to kill me.

private

[tucky]

... What?

You're serious? Why'd you want that? Were you, like, suicidal or something?

private

[patheticvillain]

Not really. I didn't want anybody to kill me, I wanted it to be her. And she wanted to kill me sometimes, too, I think. Because I hurt her pretty badly, and she wanted revenge.

private

[tucky]

Oh.

I can, uh... no offense, but I can see why that didn't work out.

Why'd you want it to be her?

private

[patheticvillain]

[He grins.] Don't worry. None taken.

I think because I thought I deserved it. Because of what I did to her, you know?

private

[tucky]

What did you do?

private

[patheticvillain]

I turned her into a cat. For three years.

I didn't mean to, it just kind of happened.

private

[tucky]

... You got some weird relationship drama, Cassel.

private

[patheticvillain]

It's been pretty weird, yeah. Being here has been practically normal, comparatively.

private

[tucky]

Is the cat thing why she didn't love you back?

private

[patheticvillain]

She loved me back. I think. She just hated me, too.

private

[tucky]

Is that... better or worse than them not loving you back at all?

private

[patheticvillain]

I think it's probably worse. Because without that, we could probably have just been friends.

private

[tucky]

I'm sorry.

Do you think you ever can be, in the future?

private

[patheticvillain]

Maybe. If I do ever go back there.

private

[tucky]

I hope you get a chance somehow. 'Cause you deserve to set things right.

... Okay.

Okay.

Here's a question for you.

Which way's better: having someone like you just as a friend with no attraction or nothing, and you knowing that you don't got any kind of chance with 'em - or having someone like you and wanna be with you, only just not in a real way.

private

[patheticvillain]

When you say not in a real way, do you mean, like, not in a romantic way?

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[tucky]

No, in a romantic way. But in a romantic way that's kind of like doing everything except actually being dating. Like you act exactly like you are, but you're actually not.

private

[patheticvillain]

That just sounds weird and confusing as fuck. I'd rather do the first thing.

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[tucky]

It’s really weird! I mean, I don’t got a problem with it or nothing. It’s just kinda confusing, like you said. I should be flirting with other guys and accepting their, uh, advances - but if I do, I feel like I’m cheating! Even though I know I’m not.

But the way things are still makes me real happy so I don’t wanna break it off, you know? The first way'd make it a lot easier to move on, though.

Shit. Never thought I'd be having these problems on the Barge.

private

[patheticvillain]

Well, if you're happy, why not just let yourself be happy?

private

[tucky]

I am. I really am. But sometimes I think too much, I guess.

private

[patheticvillain]

I think I have the opposite problem.

private

[tucky]

I do sometimes, too. I got both problems.

private

[patheticvillain]

We're all fucked up, huh.