patheticvillain: (ʭ a sickness so pure)
Cassel Sharpe. ([personal profile] patheticvillain) wrote2015-06-26 09:09 pm

fifty-five ➢ spam & voice

private } mickey

Hey. You busy?

private } beyond

Got something for you.

spam

[Recovering from being disemboweled physically took about forty-five seconds. Recovering psychologically is taking a little bit longer. Cassel takes comfort in simple tasks and routines in the meantime, trying not to think about what happened with Creed or what happened in the Enclosure or what's going to happen next. There's this feeling like the other shoe is going to drop - not uncommon on the Barge, but not something he wants to deal with, either.]

[During the day, when he's not in the gym, he spends time in his room or in the common rooms with yarn in his lap, curled up in an armchair, knitting and purling on autopilot. He has no idea what he's making, which is usually how he goes about things. Eventually he casts off and picks it up, examining it in the light. It appears to be a tiny sweater with at least three arms.]

[He never said he was good at this.]

[At night, a lithe black cat roams the halls. To Cassel's credit, this time he's wearing a little blue collar with a name tag. On the other hand, it took him this long to come up with that, so maybe he's not so smart after all. He curls up on the backs of couches, winds between people's legs, and wanders into cabins behind their occupants, purring loudly and very insistently.]
recinerate: (wide eyes would clean and dust)

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[personal profile] recinerate 2015-06-27 11:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Because he had the power to do so. [a dark edge creeps into his tone. this is how beyond sees it - L was responsible for keeping him alive and in agony in prison, not that he did anything wrong. (except lose.)] Because it was the opposite of what I wanted.
recinerate: (but then come dark and desert him)

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[personal profile] recinerate 2015-06-28 05:19 am (UTC)(link)
Perhaps.

[beyond goes silent for a long moment, and then:]

Perhaps it was just.

[he would never admit this to anyone except cassel; beyond has been more honest with the boy in the past week than possibly anyone else in his life. and beyond himself doesn't even fully believe this, even as he speaks the words, but there is some small part of him that still clings to the indoctrination he received at the House: L is Justice.

and beyond had lost to L. he forfeited his names to the other detective; perhaps he also deserved L's judgment.]


Justice is not often concerned with kindness. [cassel may be able to pick up on the capital-J way beyond says the word justice.]
Edited 2015-06-29 00:48 (UTC)
recinerate: (knives don't have your back)

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[personal profile] recinerate 2015-06-29 01:29 am (UTC)(link)
[beyond tilts his head, turns his gaze toward the boy. it's a surprising response - beyond has spent so much time in the company of others with the same programming. there's no room in his head for anything to the contrary.]

What do you believe is justice, then?
Edited 2015-06-29 01:32 (UTC)
recinerate: (but then come dark and desert him)

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[personal profile] recinerate 2015-06-29 02:07 am (UTC)(link)
[beyond interprets that phrase - the people i care about - to mean him, and for a moment, he visibly bristles. this is unfamiliar territory for him, and it's extremely uncomfortable. he shifts in his chair, dropping his attention to a stray thread at the hem of his jeans, watching silently as he winds it around the tip of his index finger. finally, after the silence has had time to grow heavy between them, he asks, quietly:]

Cassel ... why did you say that you like me?

[it's not his real question; beyond has a good enough idea of how cassel operates to understand that he says things because they are true. what he really wants to know is why do you like me?]
recinerate: (wide eyes would clean and dust)

action.

[personal profile] recinerate 2015-06-29 07:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Is that enough for you?

[his words come out a little sharper this time, sharper than he intends.]

You don't know me.

[he frowns, eyes narrowed as he watches the tip of his finger darken purple with backed up blood.]

I could be anyone. I could be lying to you, about everything.

[he's not, though, and he isn't playing at being a fellow warden, like he has told several others in the days since he's been on the barge.]

Everyone who is here has been brought for a reason.

[and even though beyond believes he doesn't belong here, even though he believes his actions were justified in service to a greater plan, he knows he is a criminal - he has embraced this identity. and even though he was not cruel in his methods of murder, he committed crimes; this he knows. he chose to commit three gruesome murders because it was a perversion of everything he'd been taught, everything L stood for.

and as his stomach knits itself into knots as he listens to cassel speak, he is struck with an overwhelming impulse to tell the boy everything, to display for him every logical reason why he should not like beyond. he wants to force a distance between them.

because as much as he has always craved the sort of close connection cassel is offering, beyond is also terrified of it.]


You don't know what I've done.
Edited 2015-06-29 19:08 (UTC)
recinerate: (knives don't have your back)

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[personal profile] recinerate 2015-06-29 07:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[beyond remembers - cassel said he'd been brought as an inmate first. they are basically strangers, and yet, beyond has given the boy a few small glimmers of himself (too much, he thinks). for a moment, he feels sick, and incredibly stupid, and overwhelmed. he pulls the string loose from the hem of his jeans with a violent tug, and watches as it uncoils and the blood rushes back into the rest of his finger, his hand, his thoroughly unsettled body.]

I don't mind. [he gives cassel a small sideways glance.] It's not healthy.
recinerate: (but then come dark and desert him)

action.

[personal profile] recinerate 2015-06-29 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Just an observation.

[said coolly, because of course beyond wouldn't admit to having feelings for cassel. not someone he's only just met. not someone he doesn't entirely trust (as if he can trust anyone, ever). not someone who is a fellow criminal, who is capable of taking revenge against those who hurt him and succeeding at it. not someone in whom he recognizes a thread of similarity to himself, certainly.

he would never admit it. but that doesn't mean that it's untrue.]


By that extension, does anything we do here matter?
Edited 2015-06-29 20:00 (UTC)
recinerate: (harm is in us but power to arm)

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[personal profile] recinerate 2015-06-29 08:15 pm (UTC)(link)
[add smoking to the list of things beyond would ordinarily have no interest in doing. but an offer coming from cassel?

if it ultimately does not matter, beyond can find no compelling reason not to accept.

he turns his attention to cassel, studying the boy, hesitating even as he knows what his answer will be. he twists his head to crack his neck one way, then the other.]


I suppose. [he shifts in his seat again, leaning in toward the boy with hand outstretched.]
recinerate: (my mathematical mind can see the breaks)

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[personal profile] recinerate 2015-06-29 08:28 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm sure it can't be too difficult to deduce.

[which is to say - no, he has no idea what he's doing. he stares at the cigarette from one end, then the other, then looks to cassel, studying the cigarette in his hand for a clue as to which way to position it.]
recinerate: (blame my mouth if the house is burning)

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[personal profile] recinerate 2015-06-29 08:48 pm (UTC)(link)
[beyond nods, equal parts appreciative for the help and embarrassed at not knowing how to do something so simple. he brings the unlit end of the cigarette to his lips between the tips of two fingers and thumb, blinks as the smoke stings his eyes, takes a deep breath -

- and begins to cough, violently. the cigarette falls to the porch.]
recinerate: (but then come dark and desert him)

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[personal profile] recinerate 2015-06-29 09:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[beyond does not answer - too busy coughing, and something more than that, something panicked. he pushes himself out of the chair with frantic force, away from cassel, gasping for air under the memory of his suicide attempt, the remembered smell of the gasoline and smoke and his burning flesh and hair hung heavy in his singed nostrils. shaking, he braces himself on the nearby porch column, bent over hacking in the struggle to regain the air in his burning lungs and calm his racing heart.]
Edited 2015-06-29 21:05 (UTC)
recinerate: (let's exchange the experience)

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[personal profile] recinerate 2015-06-29 09:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[it takes beyond another minute or so to stop coughing, get his breathing back to normal, push down the violent memories where they can no longer shake him where he stands. blinking back tears, he wipes at his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt.]

That ... was awful. [he quietly wheezes this understatement, staring out at the unkempt yard.]

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