[Now he's vicious, not feeling pushed away but terrified that he's going to ruin this and whatever's happening with Chris, too, while he's at it. He automatically reacts like he's cornered, like a caged animal - and that functions to cover up the fact that not only are his words needy, but empathetic.]
[Empathy is weakness.]
[He takes another breath, trying to steady his voice.]
If I can get them from Kon, I will. If not, I - can get the pewter. No matter what. Tomorrow. And I'll try to get everything else.
[All at once, because it's driving him crazy and maybe Zane will understand why without having to be told:] I told, I promised Chris I wouldn't use it if I didn't need to, because it hurts me and it's bad to cause yourself pain just to be useful.
[private/voice]
[Now he's vicious, not feeling pushed away but terrified that he's going to ruin this and whatever's happening with Chris, too, while he's at it. He automatically reacts like he's cornered, like a caged animal - and that functions to cover up the fact that not only are his words needy, but empathetic.]
[Empathy is weakness.]
[He takes another breath, trying to steady his voice.]
If I can get them from Kon, I will. If not, I - can get the pewter. No matter what. Tomorrow. And I'll try to get everything else.
[All at once, because it's driving him crazy and maybe Zane will understand why without having to be told:] I told, I promised Chris I wouldn't use it if I didn't need to, because it hurts me and it's bad to cause yourself pain just to be useful.