nine ➢ filter + private

[patheticvillain]

video | 1 friendly conversation filter, sans chris + cass

[Cassel chooses the video option deliberately, as well as the angle: dead on his face with a view of his shoulders and the top half of his torso. His face and posture bleed honesty tinged with regret - a little confusion, too. The confusion's the only part of this that's true, and his anger, frustration, resentment are well-hidden. That's why he's excluded Cass, because she could call him on this in an instant. Chris is out because he doesn't lie to Chris. Everyone else is fair game.]

[He takes a half-breath before he starts, looking at the camera, off to the side - guilt, shame.]

I shouldn't have done that. [Lie.] If I worried you, I'm sorry. [Half-truth, and a self-deprecating smile.] I'm not great at, uh, planning, I guess.

I know there's no way I can make up for worrying everyone, but if it's any consolation I feel like a total ass. Lesson learned, scout's honor, not happening again. [Smile evolved into smirk! Still self-deprecating, though.] I'm also considering putting up a suggestion box. "Shit Cassel should never do" for Barge input.

[And then he gets quiet, tilts his head a little sadly at the camera. Sincere regret, only not.] Seriously. Don't worry about me. And don't take it out on him.

private/video | zane

[Mask down: Cassel is pissed. Royally. About as angry as most people have probably ever seen him. Definitely angry enough to blatantly ignore the previous lie he told, that he didn't trust Zane - he does, and they're clearly the only two people here who have any clue what happened.]

[Again: video, same frame, but Cassel's not looking at the camera; too busy fuming.]

People get in your personal business here. [It looks like that's all he's going to say on that subject, but then a half-shrug:] Are you out of Zero yet?

[The rest is sent as text, more information than he has ever in his life given one person at once, but he's been watching. Zane understands him, he thinks, at least in part, certainly better than most other people do, and he's been inconvenienced by idiots like Rorschach with no intention of even attempting understanding. It's owed. That, and he needs it known, comprehensively, by somebody who understands what it's like to be manipulated.]

I think you like to know things, so here's some info. You chew screws, I wear gloves, because back home everybody wears gloves. It's how we stay safe. Work comes from hands and work can kill you or ruin your life. It can make you forget. That's why if you ever touch me [by which he means bare skin, the punching was fine really] with bare hands again I'll bite your fingers off. Nothing personal, that's just how it is.

Watch out for Barron Sharpe and Touko Fukawa.

Comments

[private/video]

[godsays]

[ Surprisingly forthcoming, really. Zane is curious; he wants to ask more, but he can wait. Everything in time.

In the end, the time in Zero isn't hurting him. (Any more than the lack of pewter already is.) It's not much more than an inconvenience. What frustrates him is that he doesn't understand why this is so bad. He feels like he should make an effort to understand, at least. ]

I have one more day.

[ He doesn't look that good, actually. Just recently emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet, and he didn't do it on purpose, which is a first for him. He knows what's happening. ]

I didn't mean to be so... out-of-control. I've tried not to hurt anyone here. But I couldn't - we both needed something.

[private/video]

[patheticvillain]

[Cassel searches his face, familiar enough with illness and pain that he recognizes them, but unable to pinpoint where they've come from. What he wants to believe is that Rorschach did this, because he doesn't like Rorschach for a list of reasons, and because having a specific enemy is easier than not. That's what he settles on, then, and his eyes narrow.]

You weren't. I wasn't either. [He rolls his eyes.] Everybody's treating me like I'm fragile. Or crazy.

[There's a pause while he searches for words, and then, caustically:] It helped, before everybody started trying to fix it.

[private/video]

[godsays]

Rorschach called you a child.

[ Zane took issue with it. ]

And so did Iris. I don't think anyone who understands pain the way you do is a child.

How old are you?

[private/video]

[patheticvillain]

[Narrowed eyes. Oh hell no.] He called me a child after accusing me of trying to corrupt his inmate. Of course he did.

[He barely reacts to Iris, though. She's starting to remind him of his mother, and not in a good way.]

Seventeen.

[private/video]

[godsays]

[ Not that much younger than Zane. And Zane doesn't understand how there's some invisible, numerical line that makes this worse. ]

He was ready to beat the "truth" out of me.

I think I ruined his... mask. Made him angry. I don't believe I'd be in here if I hadn't done that.

Video | Private

[bodilesswarrior]

[Barbara already knows Cassel lies, but she can't tell how much of this is real and how much of it is bullshit. So her expression is thoughtful, when she answers.]

The things that work for us can seem stupid and dangerous to other people. Sometimes they are - doesn't mean they didn't help anyway. [She's had people questioning her coping methods since she was Batgirl.]

I'm glad you're okay, and I'm glad you're not planning on doing it again. But I'm not going to lecture you for it.

[A slight, wry smile.] I can't promise not to worry, though.

Video | Private

[patheticvillain]

[He didn't expect Barbara to respond at all, didn't realize that their conversation in the bar had been significant to her, had extended her the courtesy of the filter because it would cover his ass some (and, on some level, because he liked her). And yet she's not questioning that it helped.]

[She needs to stop surprising him, it's unsettling.]

Good. I've heard enough lectures, honestly.

. . . Are you talking from experience again?

Video | Private

[bodilesswarrior]

[A wry smile.] A little bit, yeah. I've never done something that blatantly self destructive, but I've used my work that way. And when I was on the streets - that could get dangerous real quick.

Video | Private

[patheticvillain]

It wasn't self-destructive. [He can't quite hold back the irritation here. Nobody seems to be making an effort to understand why he did what he did.]

Video | Private

[bodilesswarrior]

[Barbara looks a bit sceptical, but she nods.] Then explain to me what it was.

[not here]

[persecutioncomplex]

[Touko already knows she knows what's better for him than most people do, even himself, and his last words only confirm that, as she weaves one more element into her fantasy. If you ask for someone to hurt you, you don't know what's good for you, and anyone who would give that to you is a monster taking advantage of you.

She's conveniently forgotten about she writes her own romances.]

[spam]

[godsays]

[ He sent a brief message to Cassel, after finishing his conversation with Kelsier, after giving himself some time to think. It's strange having another Mistborn here, especially one more powerful than him. He doesn't like it.

Even so... at least it's the Survivor. Someone Zane admired, and someone he'd wanted to meet.

So, a message to Cassel, that he's ready, that he's in his cabin. (He doesn't know where Cassel's is, otherwise he would have bothered him there.)

And now he's here, with a handful of coins from a drawer, a few pieces of metal he hasn't yet swallowed. He's already burned pewter, of course, and the difference is immediate and apparent: he looks better, he's stronger, he moves more gracefully.

The door's unlocked. ]

[spam]

[patheticvillain]

[Things that Cassel's currently thinking about: his mother, his brother, Lila, Chris, what the hell does loyalty even mean - and Kelsier, who was too good at reading him, who he's still not entirely confident is safe. People who sound kind, like they're telling the truth, aren't always. And Cassel has people to protect now.]

[But when he hears from Zane, he drops what he's doing and goes to Zane's cabin right away. He wants to see it, and, because he's paranoid, wants to make sure Zane's safe.]

[When he arrives, he tests the door handle, is satisfied to find it unlocked, and steps in - but there's a big dog at his heels, Kon's, so Cassel pauses in the doorway and ducks his head slightly.]

I have a babysitter. Is he - cool?

[spam]

[godsays]

[ A glance to the dog, a shrug. He doesn't mind. He supposes that's a consequence of the wardens wanting to feel Cassel is safe.

They probably wouldn't encourage Cassel and Zane meeting anyway. ]

I don't mind dogs.

[spam]

[patheticvillain]

[Cassel's interested in following the letter of the law, not the spirit, which is part of why he's here at all. Besides, Patches does help him feel safe. Animals don't betray you.]

[He lets Patches in first, to sniff around, and watches him carefully as he, too, enters, kicking the door shut behind him. Then he sits on the floor and pats his knee; Patches comes over to him and lies down, one watchful eye on Zane.]

You feel less poisoned?

[spam]

[godsays]

Don't I look less poisoned?

[ He's not sure this does much beyond make him feel better. But that's all he needs. ]

[Private]

[lastrat]

Learned your lesson, have you. [Guess who doesn't quiiiite buy it because he would bullshit about this too]

[Private]

[patheticvillain]

Oh, yeah. That was probably the stupidest thing I've ever done. No repeats.

[every conceivable lie]

[Private]

[lastrat]

[jfc cassel]

And how often have you used that line now?

[Private]

[patheticvillain]

I keep topping myself. So, a lot.

[Private]

[lastrat]

Well, I'm not over interested in bullshit.

[Private]

[bitteraftertaste]

I'm almost surprised no one's thought to put up a general suggestion box for this sort of thing.

[Private]

[patheticvillain]

I'm the innovator on this boat.

[Private]

[bitteraftertaste]

Evidently.

How's your warden been handling all this?

[Private]

[patheticvillain]

He doesn't get it. But that's okay.