patheticvillain | nine ➢ filter + private

Entry tags:

nine ➢ filter + private

video | 1 friendly conversation filter, sans chris + cass

[Cassel chooses the video option deliberately, as well as the angle: dead on his face with a view of his shoulders and the top half of his torso. His face and posture bleed honesty tinged with regret - a little confusion, too. The confusion's the only part of this that's true, and his anger, frustration, resentment are well-hidden. That's why he's excluded Cass, because she could call him on this in an instant. Chris is out because he doesn't lie to Chris. Everyone else is fair game.]

[He takes a half-breath before he starts, looking at the camera, off to the side - guilt, shame.]

I shouldn't have done that. [Lie.] If I worried you, I'm sorry. [Half-truth, and a self-deprecating smile.] I'm not great at, uh, planning, I guess.

I know there's no way I can make up for worrying everyone, but if it's any consolation I feel like a total ass. Lesson learned, scout's honor, not happening again. [Smile evolved into smirk! Still self-deprecating, though.] I'm also considering putting up a suggestion box. "Shit Cassel should never do" for Barge input.

[And then he gets quiet, tilts his head a little sadly at the camera. Sincere regret, only not.] Seriously. Don't worry about me. And don't take it out on him.

private/video | zane

[Mask down: Cassel is pissed. Royally. About as angry as most people have probably ever seen him. Definitely angry enough to blatantly ignore the previous lie he told, that he didn't trust Zane - he does, and they're clearly the only two people here who have any clue what happened.]

[Again: video, same frame, but Cassel's not looking at the camera; too busy fuming.]

People get in your personal business here. [It looks like that's all he's going to say on that subject, but then a half-shrug:] Are you out of Zero yet?

[The rest is sent as text, more information than he has ever in his life given one person at once, but he's been watching. Zane understands him, he thinks, at least in part, certainly better than most other people do, and he's been inconvenienced by idiots like Rorschach with no intention of even attempting understanding. It's owed. That, and he needs it known, comprehensively, by somebody who understands what it's like to be manipulated.]

I think you like to know things, so here's some info. You chew screws, I wear gloves, because back home everybody wears gloves. It's how we stay safe. Work comes from hands and work can kill you or ruin your life. It can make you forget. That's why if you ever touch me [by which he means bare skin, the punching was fine really] with bare hands again I'll bite your fingers off. Nothing personal, that's just how it is.

Watch out for Barron Sharpe and Touko Fukawa.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ He lets himself flip back to the ground, landing again on his feet. Like a cat. ]

You should see what it's like in the mists. The night is ours. We're born for it, not like -

[ Not like this, like being trapped on the ground. ]

Not like here.

...Zinc and brass are last. They're external, mental. They push and pull on emotions. Other's emotions.

It sounds - [Like something that could never happen in his world. Like one of Daneca's worker-rights pipe dreams. Like something he'd give anything for.] Pretty great.

[He's been relaxed so far, absurdly, stupidly relaxed, but the second Zane mentions that - external, mental, emotions - his shoulders tense and he puts his hand back between the dog's ears. It's easy to paste a smile on, impossible to make it convincing.]

Like my mom.

[Words fall out of his mouth lately. Gotta stop doing that.]

[ He hears the undertones and the overtones. Frowns. ]

What could she do?

She's not dead.

[He prickles at this concept, that she could be gone forever. It's part of his job to protect her, to keep her safe. Because she can't protect herself - no judgment, and the blowback, and - ]

She can make anyone feel anything she wants.

No. It's not the same.

[ He says this simply, but with the assurance of the truth. ]

These can't create or eliminate emotions, but only soothe or riot what's already there. Either directly reduce or directly inflame an emotion.

Could you tell when she was changing what you feel?

I could tell.

[When she put her hands on him and Barron and then on Phillip and told them, Love each other. You're brothers. Until they cried. Too much.]

[He eyes Zane warily, skittish as a cat. Zane, he thinks, wouldn't lie. But this makes his skin crawl.]

I want to make a comparison.

[ He steps to a drawer, and extracts a pair of gloves, then moves to Cassel and sits down cross-legged in front of him. ]

I won't touch your emotions. I won't hurt you. Will you let me show you what I mean?

[He got gloves.]

[That, more than anything, is what makes up his mind. He got gloves, without being asked. He didn't have to be reminded. He remembered. And when you care about people, you remember things about them.]

[It's the most rudimentary type of caring, something Cassel is only learning now. But Zane is doing it, just like Chris did, and he did it all on his own.]

[So Cassel nods, even though he can't look Zane in the eye, though he's terrified and he can't even say exactly why, though his fingers are tight in Patches' fur. He gambles.]

[ He slides on the gloves, carefully. ]

When someone touches you, even if they touch you very lightly, you can tell. Especially if you're watching.

[ He reaches out, and he rests his fingertips very lightly on Cassel's knee. ]

The harder you touch, the easier it is to feel. [ And here he nudges against Cassel's knee, pressing harder. ] The more the person's own body pushes back.

[ He pulls his hand away. ]

A pickpocket works by trying to fool the body into believing it hasn't been touched. They try to move too fast, or have their touch be too light. That's the only way emotional Allomancers can work without someone knowing.

But a pickpocket can't work like that if you know they're coming.

If someone shoves you, out of nowhere, you might not be able to stop yourself from falling over. But you can get back up. That's what emotional Allomancy is like. You can fine-tune in the moment, use subtle little nudges, but the harder you try to push the easier it is for them to know, and the easier it is for them to push back.

Do you understand?

[He watches Zane's hand like it's a striking snake, jolts at the first touch. By the second he's starting to understand, and by the time Zane has pulled away he's capable of truly listening. Not calm, not by a long shot, but physical lessons make sense. The comparison's right up his alley, too.]

[His mouth twists, but he nods.]

I understand.

You're right. I don't think it's the same. What we do, it's like - [He tries to think of a metaphor.] Not a pickpocket. A mugger.

Yes. Allomancy has limits. It has rules. Not guidelines. Not codes of conduct. Rules.

[ He hesitates. ]

Cassel, I want to show you what I can do. You'll be able to feel it. I'll be able to undo it. It could even be a benefit to know what it feels like, if another Allomancer ever tries. [ Now that there's one on board, that is. ]

But, really, I'm just asking you to trust me. You know it's a bad idea. I know it's a bad idea. I'm asking you to do it anyway.

[ And the unspoken addendum: that Zane will understand if he doesn't. He's pushing here because he doesn't think he himself will change if he isn't ever pushed. ]

[This is the strangest thing. All of this. The last time he was in this room, he came out bleeding and bruised, and he was fine with that. This time, he's being treated with kindness, not just respect but kindness, even understanding, and he's far less okay with that.]

[Ultimately it's a foregone conclusion, though. The other thing that happened last time he was here is that some switch flipped and he gave Zane his trust. It hasn't been betrayed yet, and Zane knows what happens when trust is betrayed. They both do.]

[His stomach is sour and his mouth tastes like something died in it, but he nods again anyway.]

I trust you.

[ And Zane reaches out, and he Soothes.

He touches fear. He touches it, not trying to be soft enough to escape notice. And he gently eases it, just a little, enough to take off the sharpest edge of anxiety.

Fear is a bottomless well, Zane knows. It can be Soothed forever and never go away. ]

Do you feel that? That's Soothing. It's brass.

[The second contact happens Cassel feels it. He parts his lips in confusion, brows knitting. There it is.]

I feel it.

[Not a tornado, a touch. It doesn't hurt. And his heart doesn't feel like it's going to fly out of his chest anymore.]

It's - not bad.

I always thought that Rioting was more useful in manipulating people than Soothing.

I'm starting to see the virtues of it. When I was a warden, I - that was when I used it. When I was trying to help.

[ It still is strange, feeling the presence of that other mind, those other shadow-memories. ]

Do you want me to undo it?

Maybe Rioting is more useful in manipulating. But - it - does help. And you didn't take anything away from me.

[He makes eye contact again, ducking his head slightly. His fingers loosen in the dog's fur.]

No. I don't. [And this, more than anything else, baffles him.]

[ Satisfaction. It wasn't so hard to nudge Cassel in the direction Zane wanted after all. This was important to him, it was difficult in terms of trust, and Zane had managed to navigate all of that delicacy. ]

All right.

Rioting is the same. It feels the same, but a push instead of a pull.

Now, if Kelsier tries it, you'll... [ You'll know.

This is the first he's mentioned Kelsier to anyone else. ]

[All of his protective walls are down right now, and it's only partly intentional. When Zane mentions Kelsier, he looks away. His anxiety spikes again. Maybe he did something wrong, but - he did it. It's done.]

I talked to him.

[ Zane is unsurprised. He, perhaps, should have thought before having an unlocked conversation with him.

He's surprised to find he's not irritated or angry at the notion. A hint afraid, maybe, that Cassel found out things Zane didn't want him to. ]

I thought you might.

[He did, but he's trying to forget them. He hadn't asked, and he's uncomfortable knowing about the Ventures. That's Zane's, not his, and Zane hasn't offered it.]

[He shifts awkwardly, folding his hands in his lap - almost guilty, now.]

To see if he was one of the ones who would hurt you.

Not just because you were curious?

[ Because that's what he would have expected. ]

At first. But then he said he was Mistborn, and you said . . .

[That Mistborn come at night.]

He is. A skilled one. One who didn't let anyone use him for their own ends.

I asked him if he was someone who used people or treated people like people. He - didn't like that.

[He grinds his teeth a little, pressing his palms together.]

I just had to make sure.

[ He actually asked the Survivor that? Zane stares in disbelief for a moment, and then turns his head away, covering a laugh with curled fingers. Of course Cassel would do that.

Another laugh, before he inhales and has himself back under control. Still a smile lurking around his mouth. ]

You shouldn't trust him completely. Mistborn are manipulative, and he was a thief before he was anything else.

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