patheticvillain | nine ➢ filter + private

Entry tags:

nine ➢ filter + private

video | 1 friendly conversation filter, sans chris + cass

[Cassel chooses the video option deliberately, as well as the angle: dead on his face with a view of his shoulders and the top half of his torso. His face and posture bleed honesty tinged with regret - a little confusion, too. The confusion's the only part of this that's true, and his anger, frustration, resentment are well-hidden. That's why he's excluded Cass, because she could call him on this in an instant. Chris is out because he doesn't lie to Chris. Everyone else is fair game.]

[He takes a half-breath before he starts, looking at the camera, off to the side - guilt, shame.]

I shouldn't have done that. [Lie.] If I worried you, I'm sorry. [Half-truth, and a self-deprecating smile.] I'm not great at, uh, planning, I guess.

I know there's no way I can make up for worrying everyone, but if it's any consolation I feel like a total ass. Lesson learned, scout's honor, not happening again. [Smile evolved into smirk! Still self-deprecating, though.] I'm also considering putting up a suggestion box. "Shit Cassel should never do" for Barge input.

[And then he gets quiet, tilts his head a little sadly at the camera. Sincere regret, only not.] Seriously. Don't worry about me. And don't take it out on him.

private/video | zane

[Mask down: Cassel is pissed. Royally. About as angry as most people have probably ever seen him. Definitely angry enough to blatantly ignore the previous lie he told, that he didn't trust Zane - he does, and they're clearly the only two people here who have any clue what happened.]

[Again: video, same frame, but Cassel's not looking at the camera; too busy fuming.]

People get in your personal business here. [It looks like that's all he's going to say on that subject, but then a half-shrug:] Are you out of Zero yet?

[The rest is sent as text, more information than he has ever in his life given one person at once, but he's been watching. Zane understands him, he thinks, at least in part, certainly better than most other people do, and he's been inconvenienced by idiots like Rorschach with no intention of even attempting understanding. It's owed. That, and he needs it known, comprehensively, by somebody who understands what it's like to be manipulated.]

I think you like to know things, so here's some info. You chew screws, I wear gloves, because back home everybody wears gloves. It's how we stay safe. Work comes from hands and work can kill you or ruin your life. It can make you forget. That's why if you ever touch me [by which he means bare skin, the punching was fine really] with bare hands again I'll bite your fingers off. Nothing personal, that's just how it is.

Watch out for Barron Sharpe and Touko Fukawa.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Surprisingly forthcoming, really. Zane is curious; he wants to ask more, but he can wait. Everything in time.

In the end, the time in Zero isn't hurting him. (Any more than the lack of pewter already is.) It's not much more than an inconvenience. What frustrates him is that he doesn't understand why this is so bad. He feels like he should make an effort to understand, at least. ]

I have one more day.

[ He doesn't look that good, actually. Just recently emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet, and he didn't do it on purpose, which is a first for him. He knows what's happening. ]

I didn't mean to be so... out-of-control. I've tried not to hurt anyone here. But I couldn't - we both needed something.

[Cassel searches his face, familiar enough with illness and pain that he recognizes them, but unable to pinpoint where they've come from. What he wants to believe is that Rorschach did this, because he doesn't like Rorschach for a list of reasons, and because having a specific enemy is easier than not. That's what he settles on, then, and his eyes narrow.]

You weren't. I wasn't either. [He rolls his eyes.] Everybody's treating me like I'm fragile. Or crazy.

[There's a pause while he searches for words, and then, caustically:] It helped, before everybody started trying to fix it.

Rorschach called you a child.

[ Zane took issue with it. ]

And so did Iris. I don't think anyone who understands pain the way you do is a child.

How old are you?

[Narrowed eyes. Oh hell no.] He called me a child after accusing me of trying to corrupt his inmate. Of course he did.

[He barely reacts to Iris, though. She's starting to remind him of his mother, and not in a good way.]

Seventeen.

[ Not that much younger than Zane. And Zane doesn't understand how there's some invisible, numerical line that makes this worse. ]

He was ready to beat the "truth" out of me.

I think I ruined his... mask. Made him angry. I don't believe I'd be in here if I hadn't done that.

[The thought of that, Rorschach without his literal mask, his face, makes Cassel smile, thin and cruel. Good.]

You might be in there anyway. Everybody's being pretty self-righteous. That's what I don't understand, what the hell did he want? I mean - you told Touko the truth, I saw that, and she didn't believe you anyway.

. . . How old are you?

I don't think she cared.

[ A beat. He puts a lot of effort in appearing older, and his life - well, it's taken a toll anyway. He doesn't look or act his age. ]

Twenty-two.

She doesn't. [Short, tense, and he looks away briefly - a tell. He hates those, he keeps slipping lately.]

Huh. So what, five years? Who cares.

She's insane. But she doesn't try to overcome it.

[ Not that he's seen, anyway. ]

If she comes after me, I might kill her. [ It's warning, but also a test to see how Cassel reacts, in light of that tell. ]

[Relief. Then, abruptly, fear. Not for himself.]

She'll come after you again, if you kill her. I think. [This is also a warning.] She's attached.

I can defend myself.

Better, if I have metals.

But you can't kill her for good.

Are you getting some?

No.

It might not be an option, soon. [ Meaning: he'll need them. ]

Yeah. Something to do with how you look like death warmed over?

[ He hesitates. Rubs at his temple. ]

Some of the metals that we use can be poisonous, if they stay in the stomach.

[Wow. Wow.]

You poisoned yourself.

Okay, what did you poison yourself with?

It was necessary.

[ A beat. ]

Pewter is ninety-one percent tin, nine percent lead.

[WOW.]

You have lead poisoning. [He covers his eyes for a second. O-kay.] How do you usually get it out?

It's not curable.

Fuck that. People have magic here.

I've made sure to leave enough pewter in my stomach to fight every night since -

Since I was seventeen.

[He's not even going to examine the science or magic or whatever of that, he knows it won't make sense to him. What he zeroes in on is: since I was seventeen.]

Do you not have enough now, or is it just not working?

I haven't had any pewter to burn since I got here. Burning it - it enhances the body. It fights off poisoning, and makes you stronger, and faster.

If it's burned off, it doesn't poison you. It's leaving it in my stomach that I knew would hurt me eventually.

It must be that my body isn't fighting back the way it should, without pewter.

Oh, that's why you didn't break my neck, because you didn't have any pewter.

[He's pretty cheerful, considering, but serious about the next part.]

I can probably get some.

I wouldn't have killed you.

[ He's almost afraid to touch that next bit god he wants pewter so much right now. ]

...there are different alloys that are called pewter. The right one for this is ninety-one percent tin, nine percent lead. Like I said.

[ Please. ]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]

[private/video]