patheticvillain | eleven ➢ private + spam

private/video | chris

[Cassel is looking just - crazy excited right now. For him, anyway; he's grinning wide, one of his legs jogging as he speaks.]

Hey, Skywalker. [Guess who got out early. And guess who's caught up with what you've been doing.]

Point one, hi, but I said that. Point two, you totally are a weapon of mass destruction, I don't know why you never used that line on me before. Point three, I have a billion things to tell you, starting with - Star Wars?

spam 1 {mid-afternoon 5/13; deck}

[The first thing Cassel does when he gets out of Zero - besides calling Chris, which always comes first - is he takes Patches up on deck. It's kind of stupid, but he's missed this dog like crazy, and he's more than happy to spend an hour or two in the fresh air throwing a ball for him.]

[For those who know him, he looks weirdly content, like a weight's been lifted; for those who don't, he looks a hell of a lot more like a normal kid than he's ever looked before.]

spam 2 {mid-afternoon thru evening 5/13; gym}

[When Kon suggested he start working in the gym for real, it had seemed like a weird idea at first, but the more he thinks about it the more it seems like - maybe it wouldn't be so bad. So he says he'll try it out, at least, and if he's going to try he's going to start right away. No point waiting.]

[He's still learning the ropes beyond just cleaning tonight, but he's around, keeping things as organized as he can on Kon's direction.]

private/video | doyle

[The camera's on to prove a point: that he's genuine about this, because he is, extremely. Discomfort shows on his face, because he's not used to apologizing, and he can't look at the camera for more than a couple seconds at a time, but he goes for it anyway.]

Hi. Um.

I'd like to talk to you, if that's cool. Here or in person. Or I can just text if you'd rather do that, I - you know. Whatever you want.

private/voice | steph

Do you still wanna skip the apology? Because I have one. Up to you.

private/voice, later | zane

[It's tempting to yell at Zane, or to ask if he's okay, or to say nothing at all, or to go find him in person now that he can. None of these sound particularly right, though, especially after everything he's ~~stalked~~ read over the last hour or so, so he reverts to sarcasm. Decently affectionate sarcasm, but sarcasm nonetheless.]

You're such an idiot. I feel like you should win a prize for being as much of an idiot as you are.

private/text | barron

pizza?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Doyle's leaning against the railing too but with the space given. Pulling the cigarette from his lips he looked at the cheery a moment before shrugging.]

Been worse, can't really complain much. Mostly don't want too. [ He looked to Cassel, trying to put off a lazy air.] Sorry by the way, bout you endin' up in Zero. I asked Steph to go get you out, but that didn't go over well.

Yeah, you could, though.

[Then he looks at Doyle, confused.]

You tried to get me out? But - why?

Complainin' only gets you so far and doesn't really help shit in my experience.

[ He put the cigarette back between his lips taking a drag before letting the smoke out as he spoke.]

You might'a given me the means and such but you didn't force me. In the end it was my choice. You don't blame the liquor store worker when a drunk falls. You don't blame someone else for makin' it available. I feel no one should have to change for my mess ups.

[Cassel, too, has to pause for a minute, thinking about this. He takes a drag of his own, trying to pull apart exactly what Doyle's saying here.]

But I did it on purpose. I was trying to hurt you. I didn't even know you, really, and I was trying to hurt you.

I don't get it. I think you're supposed to be mad at me.

Kid. [ Yep, thats going to be Cassel's name until further notice.] Trust me, this isn't pain. This is annoyance and irritation, the only pain there was passed and even when I was in pain I wasn't blaming you. I take the blame for my mistakes. I could have said no, and I didn't.

[ Doyle flicked the cigarette off the edge before looking to Cassel.]

Bein' mad's a waste o' time, when I got other stuff to worry 'bout. Though with you sayin' that I gotta ask why you'd target me. I'm curious there.

[There's some truth in this. Cassel's not good at letting go of his anger, obviously, but at the same time, Doyle's words make sense.]

[He watches the butt fall into nothingness, and then turns, puts his elbows on the rail.]

Honestly? Because I thought it'd mess with Steph. That's the short version. Long version . . . I was mad about something, and I made myself madder because I thought if I could get revenge for that it'd make up for not being able to do fuck all here.

People hurt you, you hurt them back, it's how the world's supposed to work. That's why I don't get why you're not mad. I mean. I do. But I don't.

That's a really stupid reason, mate. No really there's better ways to piss off Steph. Trust me I mess with the lass a lot when Im bored.

[ Granted he didn't really mess with her that much but he'd figured out how to push a few buttons. He kept leaning where he was before nodding a bit.]

An eye for an eye makes everyone blind, it just ain't worth it. Look at it this way, I get pissed at you for gettin' me drunk. I snap your neck and throw you overboard, no one knows but me. [ He rolled his head to look at Cassel.] But that does me no good, everyone would figure it out. I'd dwell on it and turn it into guilt because my relapse isn't worth your blood. And it sure as hell isn't gonna help me meet my goals. I may hate this place but I need it otherwise I can't save someone I care about.

So, thats why I'm not upset. It's not worth the back pedallin'.

I know it was.

[Honestly. He does. He didn't realize completely until he saw Chris so upset, but now he gets it.]

I get what you're saying. Mostly.

And I'm sorry, for what it's worth. It was a shitty thing to do. You're actually a really cool guy.

[ Doyle shrugged then.]

If you understand it then no harm done. Despite what everyone else thinks you know I ain't pissed so don't dwell too much man. It ain't worth it. Find somethin' positive in your life and let it drive you. That's the tidbit no one openly tells you here.

Yeah, maybe it was. But your sorry and I ain't pissed so we'll leave it in the past. [ He cracked a bit of a smile.] Glad to know someone thinks so. I don't know you well so I can't say the same but I'd think you are too.

Something positive, huh.

[He grins a little, flicks his cigarette out into nothing like Doyle did.]

I can probably manage that.

Hey, can I ask you something?

You'd be shocked what a little positive thinking will do, so I hear.

Sure, shoot.

I hear that too.

You want me to make you some armor? Like Kon has. He says it's okay, if it's okay with Steph. For port, I mean.

[ Doyle looks at him before he shook his head some.]

Nah man, armor seems to bulky for me. I like bein' able to bail out if I need too. I'm lookin' for somethin' with a lot o' pocket room. After the Overlook I'm gonna be carryin' as much as I can on me.

Okay.

[He looks at Doyle with something approaching concern.]

Can you fight?

Though, maybe I'll look into somethin' to stash in the linin' incase somethin' does try to stab me.

[ He nodded with a confident look.] I've been in many a' fight and come out on top. Plus Steph and Cass are makin' me learn other ways besides what I already know. Why you ask?

I already screwed you over once. If I can help you now, I want to.

Not that it changes anything, but that's what I want to do.

Wantin' to make up for it is more then enough man. And like I said I ain't pissed.

[ Doyle pushed off the railing then slipping his hands into his pockets before shrugging his shoulders a bit.] My plans are to keep pourin' through the magic and demon books I've been lookin' through for months for any and everythin' that might help keep us all safe. If Stephs plannin' to run with Kon in the port we'll likely be seein' a bit o' each other so I'll keep an eye out on you and you do the same and we'll call everything even. Sound good?

[He struggles with this. Guilt isn't something he feels often, something he lets rise to the surface even more rarely, but it's there now. Then it shifts to stubbornness.]

[It's not even, but it's good enough to start with.]

Right. We'll keep an eye on each other. I can do that.

[ Doyle looked at him, he was dealing with his own guilt. His mind wasn't really thinking maybe Cassel needs this. He was more or the line of making sure the guy doesn't need to feel guilty for anything.]

Sounds like a plan then. So, is there anything else man or are we good?