thirteen ➢ private + voice

[patheticvillain]

private | kon

I have a question about what Charles did to you. [A beat.] I mean. For you.

public | voice

[He shouldn't be making this post, probably, no matter how curious he is. He's been weird about his mother lately, and if she starts talking to him he's not sure what he'll do.]

[So he compromises: voice, which is a tell in itself, when he could be using video (he's hiding), but to his credit it doesn't shake, and he doesn't sound afraid. Maybe Sam's out there, or Daneca.]

The Admiral's fucking with us again, I note. If anybody wants to catch me up on the news from Jersey, it's not like I'm doing anything. Otherwise I'll just watch everyone else be super uncomfortable.

private | text to zane + chris | later

today was complete bullshit and fuck this boat i have snacks and my door's open

the rules are no talking and whoever brings booze gets the most pillows

Comments

[godsays]

I think he would rather have hate than nothing.

[bittersweeter]

Well, that's his choice, not mine.

[godsays]

Do you understand him?

[bittersweeter]

Highly doubtful.

I understand his mom is emotionally manipulative so feelings don't mean the same thing to him and he grew up feeling useless so he tried to make himself useful and that his brother and my cousin took advantage of that.

But understand Cassel? No, I doubt it.

[godsays]

It's a start.

I understand him. Is there anything you want to ask me?

[bittersweeter]

No. [Her head shakes, even though he can't see it.] Doesn't matter anymore.

[godsays]

I don't believe you.

[bittersweeter]

Then you're smarter than Cassel.

[godsays]

It's not difficult.

[bittersweeter]

I don't want to know anything because he's not coming back. I know enough to tell Desi and Sam and the Brennans. [Though to be fair, telling the Brennans will mean findin who killed Cassel and returning the favor.]

[godsays]

You want to start forgetting as soon as you can.

[bittersweeter]

No.

Cassel's like... fire. Amazing, but the closer you get, the more it hurts. I don't want to forget that, so I don't go back to that. I don't need to know how fire works though, to remember it burning.

[godsays]

I wonder if he would say the same about you.

[bittersweeter]

You'll have to ask him.

[godsays]

I'm Zane.

An assassin.

[bittersweeter]

So you do understand him.

[godsays]

Yes.

[ He doesn't say this as though it is, necessarily, a good thing. ]

[bittersweeter]

Are you... reformed?

[godsays]

I'm... barely formed.

[ He feels as though his life was taken from him. That it was all stolen away: his will, his choices, his chances. ]

[bittersweeter]

But you're his friend? You'll-- He's an idiot. And seriously overestimates his ability to lie well.

[Basically he needs a baby sitter and Lila needs someone to reassure her that he has one.]

[godsays]

He overestimates a lot about himself.

He helps - remind me why I don't want to hurt people.

I do my best to keep him safe.

[bittersweeter]

Good.

[To basically all of the above. She is just losing all desire to put effort into anything now so it sounds... well like she doesn't care.]

[godsays]

Do you have someone to help you?

[bittersweeter]

Yeah. [She's lying and she's not even trying to be good at it. There isn't a point.]

[godsays]

Do you really want to lie to me?