thirteen ➢ private + voice

[patheticvillain]

private | kon

I have a question about what Charles did to you. [A beat.] I mean. For you.

public | voice

[He shouldn't be making this post, probably, no matter how curious he is. He's been weird about his mother lately, and if she starts talking to him he's not sure what he'll do.]

[So he compromises: voice, which is a tell in itself, when he could be using video (he's hiding), but to his credit it doesn't shake, and he doesn't sound afraid. Maybe Sam's out there, or Daneca.]

The Admiral's fucking with us again, I note. If anybody wants to catch me up on the news from Jersey, it's not like I'm doing anything. Otherwise I'll just watch everyone else be super uncomfortable.

private | text to zane + chris | later

today was complete bullshit and fuck this boat i have snacks and my door's open

the rules are no talking and whoever brings booze gets the most pillows

Comments

[bittersweeter]

I don't know, I did to walk you off a building. We might be even.

[patheticvillain]

I didn't mind.

[bittersweeter]

[That, absurdly, is the straw that breaks the camels back. There is so much about this she can't handle and she doesn't want to anymore. But she's a moth and he's the flame.]

Can you take it off video?

[patheticvillain]

. . . Yeah.

[He switches to voice.]

I can make it text, too. If you want.

[bittersweeter]

No, it's fine. I just... I have something to say and I don't want to have to look at you when I say it.

Remember when we were little and we used to sit in the basement and talk about what you were going to do when you grew up? I always wanted you to say you'd work for my dad because then when I took over you'd be there. And we, we could've been the best team. Like, real partners and I wouldn't have made you do-- But that was all I wanted because you are the only person who has never stopped having my back.

So. That's why you can't wish you weren't alive. Because of that.

[patheticvillain]

[He remembers. He does. Back when his love for her was some half-formed, almost-okay thing that he'd never say out loud, back when they were friends and he was a kid with a crush, back when he didn't fit in anywhere but it wasn't so fucking complicated - yeah, he remembers.]

[And he knows what this means, now. He doesn't have her back anymore. He has to have his own, and he hates it.]

[It's almost a physical effort not to hang up. But he doesn't. He can be a coward in a lot of ways, but not in every way. Not anymore.]

[His breathing is light, quick, shallow. But he is not crying.]

I wish that could've happened. I wish I wasn't -

[Shut up, Cassel.]

I won't wish that anymore, then. Least I can do.

[At least, he can try.]

[bittersweeter]

I hope... you're happy. [That is the most of a... blessing he will get from her. She isn't a good person, she knows this intimately, she could write books about her own psychoses, but if Cassel is trying then she can put in equal effort, even if she sucks at it and even if it hurts like hell. For him.] Or something.

[patheticvillain]

Maybe I will be, someday. I don't know.

I hope you get what you want.

[bittersweeter]

Yeah.

I have stuff to do, condolences to give. Can you get your space prison off my phone?

[jfc please hang up soon, she can't handle this anymore. it's one thing to get dumped -- its another entirely to get dumped for prison, and then have your boyfriend's new friends set upon you like you're fucking lilith herself and they're eve to cassel's fuck up adam.]

[patheticvillain]

I don't know how to cut off the connection entirely.

I can go though. [Since he's pretty sure that's what she's asking.]

[bittersweeter]

Bye Cassel.

[patheticvillain]

Bye, Lila.