thirteen ➢ private + voice

[patheticvillain]

private | kon

I have a question about what Charles did to you. [A beat.] I mean. For you.

public | voice

[He shouldn't be making this post, probably, no matter how curious he is. He's been weird about his mother lately, and if she starts talking to him he's not sure what he'll do.]

[So he compromises: voice, which is a tell in itself, when he could be using video (he's hiding), but to his credit it doesn't shake, and he doesn't sound afraid. Maybe Sam's out there, or Daneca.]

The Admiral's fucking with us again, I note. If anybody wants to catch me up on the news from Jersey, it's not like I'm doing anything. Otherwise I'll just watch everyone else be super uncomfortable.

private | text to zane + chris | later

today was complete bullshit and fuck this boat i have snacks and my door's open

the rules are no talking and whoever brings booze gets the most pillows

Comments

Private.

[patheticvillain]

You said he helped you by getting into your head somehow. Can you tell me more about that?

Re: Private.

[an_abomination]

The images Harvest implanted in my head were extremely violent and truamatizing. I witnessed an entire city being destroyed by my own hands. Charles used his telepathy to repress the images so they didn't flood my mind all at once. He would bring up images from my subconscious bit by bit, so I could build up mental resilience.

Private.

[patheticvillain]

Okay. I want to do the opposite of that.

Re: Private.

[an_abomination]

You want to have a flood of images and then work on them all at once?

Private.

[patheticvillain]

Yeah. I want my memories of what I did when Barron and Philip and Anton were controlling me. I want to see for myself.

Re: Private.

[an_abomination]

You'd have to defer to Charles for his expert opinion. That beig said, I am not sure if experiencing it all at once is a good idea. It might be better to do it in pieces. Otherwise, you could seriously traumatize yourself.

Re: Private.

[patheticvillain]

I already asked him about it. He said he could do it. But you think I should do it like you did? How long did that take?

[an_abomination]

A couple of month. Which compared to how long something like that, is really, really short. From what I've read, a lot of people would saw the kind of things I had, would need years of counseling.

[patheticvillain]

Then I want to start now.

[an_abomination]

If it's okay with you, I'd like to go there with you for the first couple of sessions to see how things go.

[patheticvillain]

. . . Wait, you're really okay with it?

[an_abomination]

Yeah, of course. Charles knows what he's doing, we've discussed the pace, I'll get to observe, and I believe in you. I know with some help, you'll work through it.

[patheticvillain]

Oh.

Okay, then yeah. It's fine if you're there.

I might need to - not have you there afterwards, for a while. Depending on what he finds.

[an_abomination]

I understand. I just want to be there to make sure things go smoothly and it's something that you're okay with doing, since it's possible you might feel different after it happens. I don't think that'll be the case, but I'd like to be certain.

[patheticvillain]

Okay.

It's something I need to know. Do you understand?

[an_abomination]

I do. There are years of your life that are unknown to you. If you're going to move forward, you have to understand what happened before.

[patheticvillain]

Yeah. I do.

I'm - glad you understand. It's hard for me to explain that, sometimes.

[Also he values your opinion, Kon, when the hell did that happen.]

[an_abomination]

Back in my world, people used to lie to me and keep secrets from me all the time. I hated it, I can only imagine how frustrating that whole situation us for you.

[patheticvillain]

I just want to know if I liked it, the way Barron said. If I enjoyed killing people. If I did, then I don't . . .

I'll need more help.

[an_abomination]

Your brother says a lot of things.

I doubt that's the case, but if it is, I'll do whatever I can.

[patheticvillain]

I know he does. You know me better than he does by now, anyway.

[an_abomination]

We've come a long way since we were first paired up, huh?

[patheticvillain]

Yeah.

[He - seriously considers not saying the next part, but. Then he does.]

I'm glad you're my warden.

[an_abomination]

[It's a shame they didn't switch over to video, because Cassel is missing out on the cheesiest, happiest looking smile Kon can muster.]

I'm really glad I am as well! The Admiral was definitely onto something when we got paired up.

[patheticvillain]

He's not always an idiot. Just most of the time.