patheticvillain | fourteen ➢ video + various private messages

[Video clicks on: Cassel looks decidedly calm, leaned back against the white wall of his bedroom. Which he's not, but he's been thinking about this for a while - especially after fourth wall day - and he wants to pick people's brains.]

I never finished high school. This is not a political science lesson. Don't call me on my basic misunderstanding of the democratic process. I just have some questions.

Where I come from, people who can do [the briefest of pauses] magic are illegal. Or - performing it's illegal. And it has been for a hell of a long time. The problem is that you don't know if you can do it or not until it manifests, all by itself. You don't know if you can do it until you've already done it, by which time you're already a criminal. Surprise!

I don't know the order of history where you people are from. But for us, these laws have been in place for, like, a hundred years. Which is when things started getting bad. Some big-deal government asshole in a suit and tie tells you you're a criminal for doing something you can't help doing, I guess you just think: sure. Why not. I'll be a criminal.

Explain the point of this to me, somebody. Do people really not think this shit through? Maybe people just really want to have a bad guy. I'm okay with that answer. [He kind of believes it himself.] I'd just really like to take a survey, since nobody's asked a moral question for 0.5 seconds and I haven't had the pleasure.

[He goes to switch off the feed, and then remembers something.]

Oh, and if anybody else has similar crap to share, yadda yadda. We're building an environment of mutual un-der-stan-ding on this cruise. [Eyeroll, and feed cut.]

filter | kon + charles

I'd like to get started on this memory thing. Whenever you both have time. Kon said it was cool but he wants to sit in.

private | zane

You know that feeling like you're about to do something incredibly stupid? I have that. [He's so pissed B(]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

She always said she wanted to take over.

[But there's doubt in his voice, now.]

She wasn't happy, Cassel.

She might speak with confidence, but there are... cracks. It took me ten minutes to find one. Do you think no one else ever will?

No. I don't.

So what do I do?

There's nothing you can do.

[His lips thin in irritation. Well, some irritation. Mostly fear. But he doesn't say a word.]

[If he can't do anything, maybe he was right this whole time. Maybe it would be better if he'd never been. He knows he made it worse for her.]

Even when people are within your reach, sometimes you can't save them. When they're out of your reach...

I know that. I do know that.

Then stop looking guilty.

I -

[Can't, is what he was going to say. But sure he can. That's how he survived this long, hiding what he felt. So he blinks, long and slow, and schools his expression into something calm.]

[ He's going to get a smack on the back of the head for that. Light, not painful. ]

Stop being stupid.

[He flinches at that, glaring up at Zane.]

I did what you said!

Start doing what I mean instead.

I can't. I can't not be guilty about that. Don't you think that if I could make that go away I would get rid of it in a heartbeat? Do you honestly think that I like feeling like I ruined her life? You think that's fun for me?

[It's not fun. But there is part of him - a part he doesn't consciously acknowledge - that holds onto it. Better to have power, even if it hurts. Better to be a martyr than go back to being invisible.]