patheticvillain | fourteen ➢ video + various private messages

[Video clicks on: Cassel looks decidedly calm, leaned back against the white wall of his bedroom. Which he's not, but he's been thinking about this for a while - especially after fourth wall day - and he wants to pick people's brains.]

I never finished high school. This is not a political science lesson. Don't call me on my basic misunderstanding of the democratic process. I just have some questions.

Where I come from, people who can do [the briefest of pauses] magic are illegal. Or - performing it's illegal. And it has been for a hell of a long time. The problem is that you don't know if you can do it or not until it manifests, all by itself. You don't know if you can do it until you've already done it, by which time you're already a criminal. Surprise!

I don't know the order of history where you people are from. But for us, these laws have been in place for, like, a hundred years. Which is when things started getting bad. Some big-deal government asshole in a suit and tie tells you you're a criminal for doing something you can't help doing, I guess you just think: sure. Why not. I'll be a criminal.

Explain the point of this to me, somebody. Do people really not think this shit through? Maybe people just really want to have a bad guy. I'm okay with that answer. [He kind of believes it himself.] I'd just really like to take a survey, since nobody's asked a moral question for 0.5 seconds and I haven't had the pleasure.

[He goes to switch off the feed, and then remembers something.]

Oh, and if anybody else has similar crap to share, yadda yadda. We're building an environment of mutual un-der-stan-ding on this cruise. [Eyeroll, and feed cut.]

filter | kon + charles

I'd like to get started on this memory thing. Whenever you both have time. Kon said it was cool but he wants to sit in.

private | zane

You know that feeling like you're about to do something incredibly stupid? I have that. [He's so pissed B(]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Charles nods, and puts his hand to his temple. The gesture's not strictly necessary, but it usually helps people to see something physical when he starts using his power. The contact starts gently, but he dives in soon enough after that, eager to get to work and start unearthing the memories.

It's hard to really describe how it works, but it's not difficult to spot what's been tampered with and what hasn't been. He's very careful, because he doesn't want to do any damage, but it's not necessarily difficult, once he's got the rhythm of it.]

[It's appreciated; gratitude washes over him because - god, this isn't really something he wants to do, but it's something he needs to. At least he can brace himself, and it's not coming out of nowhere.]

[Cassel's mind is very much like a wall: there is a layer, in places, of memories that aren't his, subtly different from his own like a spot of wallpaper that doesn't quite match. And underneath it, the mental scent of mildew, something rotting simply because it's out of place, wrong, unnatural. Memories suppressed and papered over.]

[He can feel Charles in his mind. He can't feel the wrong spots. Instead, to keep calm, he thinks to himself things that Kon has said. You've got what it takes. You can do it. And he reminds himself that Chris will be here other times if he decides to keep going, and that later he can rest, and - ]

[His knuckles are white on the back of the chair, but he's trying, at least, to relax and to trust.]

[Charles sends a gentle wave of calm, nothing too forceful, almost like putting a cool hand to a fevered forehead, and focuses on carefully pulling back that wallpaper without damaging the surface underneath.

Then it's about strengthening things and smoothing away the rest of the damage. There are things that the mind just naturally tends to move on from quickly, but the important parts are easily identifiable even if some (most) of the stuff being uncovered is not exactly things remembered fondly.

He keeps Cassel from feeling the memories come back until he's done - it would be too confusing to "watch" him work - and tries to work out how best to introduce him to it. Ripping it off quickly seems both rational and cruel, but so does letting it filter back slowly.]

[What's under there is ugly, it's true, but it's also not as ugly as Cassel fears. There's a sense of joy, it's true. Distinct, unbridled pleasure. But Charles will dig up bare fingers brushing a man's arm, the shift of skin to metal (in this case, a shelf), and the twinge of guilt. Not enough guilt, not the kind of guilt the average person would feel upon killing a man, but some.]

[He's happy for a reason, under all of this. One reason.]

[They're proud of me.]

[On the surface, Cassel relaxes entirely. His hands fall to his knees, and he opens his eyes, watching Charles curiously. It's endlessly strange, to feel another presence in his mind, but people like Charles - people like Zane - haven't tried to make him something he's not.]

[Charles does decide to let the memories filter back when he finally lets go, although it's done gently so as to be relatively safe from feeling suddenly too overwhelmed by the new information. He lowers his hand when the mental connection's gone for good and looks at Cassel seriously.]

How do you feel?

[There are two important parts to the memories that filter back. First are the sensory memories - the smells, sounds, pictures, the sense of skin or fabric under his hand as he watches a man turn to metal. The shock in his eyes, the stale scent of his last breath.]

[The second part, he thinks, is more important. He did not enjoy killing. That's - good, he thinks, with the part of himself that hasn't shut down entirely. The part of him that's just done feeling.]

[He opens his eyes and looks at Charles, then says the first thing that comes to his head.]

Sad. [A moment, and then:] And tired.

Understandable. [It's definitely not pleasant stuff he's just unearthed, after all.] Is there anything I can do?

[He doesn't answer for a moment, and then - ]

Can I just go to sleep? Can you help me sleep?

[He's only comfortable asking this because he knows Charles would be in huge trouble if he did anything bad to Cassel's brain instead of putting him to sleep. Or at least that's what he tells himself.]

Yes. [It's something he's had to do so often, it's almost as easy as blinking.] Do you want to head back to your room?

[He looks at Kon briefly before looking back at Cassel.] Or somewhere else you'd be comfortable. Your options in here are a bit limited.

Yeah. My room.

[He glances at Charles, stands up, walks to the door. A little unsteady on his feet, but he's pretty sure that's shock.]

fourteen ➢ video + various private messages

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