patheticvillain | sixteen ➢ gym & deck spam

[It's an unfamiliar burden that Cassel has realized he's carrying: Kon is here alone now, except for him. Steph's gone. And it's finally sunk in that Kon will not leave until Cassel does. This makes him feel more motivated and also terrified. He doesn't want anybody to be relying on him for anything. It's just not a good idea.]

[So he keeps himself busy. First and foremost working; he picks up an extra shift or two at the gym. When he's not there, he's on the deck, reading and tossing a ball around for Patches. Every once in a while he gets up, restlessly walks to another spot on the deck, with the dog following behind him in some confusion.]

[Occasionally, and reflexively, he will take note of things that look valuable and do his best to slip them into his pocket, unnoticed. He's out of practice, so this is partially an attempt to return to semi-competence; however, if he's not caught, he'll come back and return them within the hour. An exercise in boredom and distraction, more or less.]

for iris }

[Eventually, he spots Iris on deck and makes his way over to her, cocking his head curiously.]

Talk to me about timelines.

[Since it's something she talks to everybody about, it seems like, and she was talking to Zane about it the other day. He doesn't get the point, but there has to be one.]

for elena }

[It occurs to him slowly that it seems like Elena's pissed at him after their last conversation. He's not sure why, given that allegedly she's emotion-free these days, but whatever. Even if it's just an act, he wants to know why. So he tracks her down. Really curious as to what exactly she thought this partnership was supposed to be about.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[It's tempting, but there's also that part of him that doesn't want his work to be a secret anymore. He doesn't want to broadcast it, but he doesn't want it to be currency. So he just shrugs.]

You can tell me whatever you want. But you can ask me whatever you want, too.

Most of me secrets, these days? I don't even know 'em meself any more. Some of 'em got a bit too 'ot to 'andle. I wonder if I'm not due to rediscover 'em sometime soon, though.

[She slides her gaze briefly sideways to meet his, and then back out at the stars.]

...I said I'd never done timeline surgery and that weren't quite true. There's no other way I could've come by two equally true pasts. And I can see that were me own work, it's got my fingerprints all over it. I just... don't seem to 'ave left in the bits where I know when or why I did it.

[He manages a very small smile at this, despite the fact that it's hitting very close to home. She did something to her own memory, or someone else did - he'll always assume that someone else did, because why do that to yourself? - and now she just doesn't know.]

Why would you have done it? If you did it.

I told you, I don't know. I've got some educated guesses; there were a lot of people gunning for me just before it 'appened. And there were a bloody great Time War somewhere in there. That's one of the things I lost, or never 'ad - I literally don't exist in any reality that war does.

That's why I 'aven't tried too 'ard to find out.

You don't want to know.

[This is bizarre to him.]

Doesn't that scare you?

I scare me. I'm the only thing that ever 'as. I'm also the only one whose judgment I trust enough to let it lie.

[She fishes a pack of cigarettes out of her bag, lights one and wordlessly offers Cassel the pack.]

At one point I did know, and I made the decision not to. No bugger else. I know that much for certain.

[She shrugs.]

I do know there's an older version of me trying to kill me. One reason I come 'ere, in fact. So I might still talk meself into finding out.

[He pulls one out with deft fingers, lights it himself, doesn't answer for a moment.]

I guess if you're going to lose time, that's the way to do it. At the hands of someone whose judgment you trust.

What did Lua tell you, anyway?

[Iris watches him sidelong, loving the beautiful, fresh slightness of him.]

That you can change things into other things. And that changing a thing into summat alive don't work. Can it work if the thing you change starts out alive?

[He exhales smoke towards the vacuum of space, wondering precisely where the line is - where the bubble of oxygen they live in ends.]

You can change a living thing into a non-living thing, but it dies. You can change a living thing into another living thing, and it lives. But changing a non-living thing into a living thing . . . you just get meat.

sixteen ➢ gym & deck spam

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