sixteen ➢ gym & deck spam

[patheticvillain]

[It's an unfamiliar burden that Cassel has realized he's carrying: Kon is here alone now, except for him. Steph's gone. And it's finally sunk in that Kon will not leave until Cassel does. This makes him feel more motivated and also terrified. He doesn't want anybody to be relying on him for anything. It's just not a good idea.]

[So he keeps himself busy. First and foremost working; he picks up an extra shift or two at the gym. When he's not there, he's on the deck, reading and tossing a ball around for Patches. Every once in a while he gets up, restlessly walks to another spot on the deck, with the dog following behind him in some confusion.]

[Occasionally, and reflexively, he will take note of things that look valuable and do his best to slip them into his pocket, unnoticed. He's out of practice, so this is partially an attempt to return to semi-competence; however, if he's not caught, he'll come back and return them within the hour. An exercise in boredom and distraction, more or less.]

for iris }

[Eventually, he spots Iris on deck and makes his way over to her, cocking his head curiously.]

Talk to me about timelines.

[Since it's something she talks to everybody about, it seems like, and she was talking to Zane about it the other day. He doesn't get the point, but there has to be one.]

for elena }

[It occurs to him slowly that it seems like Elena's pissed at him after their last conversation. He's not sure why, given that allegedly she's emotion-free these days, but whatever. Even if it's just an act, he wants to know why. So he tracks her down. Really curious as to what exactly she thought this partnership was supposed to be about.]

Comments

Spammm

[buywithme]

I don't think you're weak. I think it's taken tremendous strength of will for you not to be like your brothers and your mother were. What I can't understand, is why after getting so far, you'd be content to just turn around and be the same person they were all trying to force you into.

You know from experience that people are all like that because you've had to fight to be different. So doesn't making a preemptive strike, or taking revenge on them, make that whole fight meaningless?

[His head tilts, slightly, and his eyes narrow. Genuine concern. Genuine trouble.]

And I believe you. I'd actually be surprised if you're not there before Barron is.

Spammm

[patheticvillain]

[This - actually hits him. Hard, right in the heart, and makes him stop with his mouth half-open. Is that what he's doing? Is he just doing what they wanted this whole time?]

[He's not being different at all, is what Prefect's saying. He's being Barron.]

I don't know. [It takes a lot to admit this, but it's the truth: he doesn't know. He's never thought about this, not from this angle, never considered that he might be just as bad, might be worse and weaker for falling back into it. He never considered. He's considering it now.]

[He wants to hide from it, but maybe he shouldn't. His lips tighten, and that sudden fear at the thought of graduating, of moving on, of being better hurts him to think about more than anything.]

Spammm

[buywithme]

[Prefect reaches over, and gives him a little pat on the arm, even though it's dumb, and insignificant, and he knows it probably won't actually help, he tells Cassel:]

You'll be okay. Just think about it, and you'll get there. Wherever it is.

Spammm

[patheticvillain]

[He flinches away. Not violently, just - he isn't expecting the touch, and he doesn't want it. There's a list of people who are allowed to touch him; it's three items long. Prefect isn't on it.]

[He steps away slightly. But he nods, too, as he breathes in slowly to calm down.]

Wherever it is. Yeah. You're probably right.