twenty-three ➢ spam + voice

[patheticvillain]

spam } barron

[It's really, really tempting to half-ass this, once Cassel gets up the nerve to finally do it. He's made the pictures without talking to his warden or his friends or anybody. He hasn't asked for validation; he doesn't need it. It makes him uncomfortable, but he knows he has to. He knows this is the right thing to do.]

[When he knocks on Barron's door, there's a light sweat on his palms in his black gloves, and he's moving an envelope nervously from one hand to the other. Inside, there are three photos, each with a handwritten note on the back.]

[One of himself - This is Cassel Sharpe. He's your little brother, and he loves you.]

[The second one - This is Prefect. He's your warden, and he loves you.]

[And the last one - This is Daneca Wasserman. She was your girlfriend, and you love her.]

later } kon

[He's subdued when he comes to find Kon. Mostly he just doesn't want to be alone right now - doesn't want to think about his family, or anybody's family. Maybe they can train or play with Patches or something.]

[Knocking on Kon's door, he shuffles his feet and shoves his hands in his pockets. No idea what's just happened, besides the obvious.]

later still } zane

[Now his hands are trembling. All of him is trembling. He feels weird, like this is some kind of nightmare that won't look like one until, abruptly, it does.]

[He raps loudly and arrhythmically at Zane's door, his covered knuckles stuttering on the stone.]

Zane. Zane! I need to talk to you. Please open up.

and finally } public/voice

[More than anything, Cassel sounds stunned. Not happy, not yet. Just baffled. It's been a long day.]

So, uh. I just graduated. And I'm staying.

[Long . . . pause.]

That's kind of it.

Comments

[patheticvillain]

Don't have a heart attack, I just graduated.

[He smirks and leans back on his hands on the bed.]

Get over here.

[mistconduct]

[Without another thought, Chris stumbles into the room and drops onto the bed face-first, planting himself there]

Fuck, dude.

[patheticvillain]

[Cassel grabs him by the shoulder and gently rolls him over, looking down at him without moving for a minute, then leans down and kisses him quick and rough.]

You're a wordsmith, you know that?

[mistconduct]

[Obligingly flipped over, Chris blinks up at Cassel before grinning and wrapping his arm around the other's neck, pulling him in tight and keeping him in a pseudo-headlock.]


Hey; if it's not broke, don't fix it.

[patheticvillain]

Yeah, well, apparently you're not broke.

[He smirks, supporting himself on his elbows and raising his eyebrows.]

'Fuck' is better than poetry, anyway.

[mistconduct]

It's just so-

[quick, forceful kiss back, before Chris lets his arm around Cassel go]

-versatile a word.

[patheticvillain]

[Flopping down onto his side with a dramatic sigh, Cassel peels off his gloves and throws them onto the floor, then turns onto his stomach, chewing the inside of his cheek.]

One of the greatest words in the English language in that way.

So what does it mean in this context?

[mistconduct]

[Giving a laugh at the gloves, Chris likewise kicks off his shoes onto Cassel's floor and flops too on his stomach, facing the other]

In this context? Like a million and one things. All that shit you feel when you graduate, like....happy you're getting out, guilty that other people didn't, sad that some assholes didn't get to see it happen, excited and nervous about what's coming, maybe homesick....I dunno.

[patheticvillain]

[He thinks about this for a second before nodding.]

Yep. Fuck.

I'm still freaking out, a little. Maybe a lot.

[mistconduct]

Me too. Fuck.

At least it happened pretty close together for us. How fucked would it have been if we'd graduated a year apart? Way worse.

[patheticvillain]

Way worse.

It would've been okay in the end, though. It wouldn't have changed anything.

[mistconduct]

I guess not.


....so what'll happen the minute you go back?

[patheticvillain]

I'm not going. Like I said, that's not my home anymore.

[mistconduct]

So there's nothing you need to fix? No one to say goodbye to or shit left undone?

[patheticvillain]

Lila's already passed on my goodbyes. If I go, I'll just feel like I need to stay forever, not because I want to but . . . you know. Mom.

As far as shit left undone, I think maybe I did that today.

[mistconduct]

Yeah. Sorry, just. Fuck your mom.

What'd you do?

[patheticvillain]

You don't have to be sorry. It's just complicated, is all.

I gave Barron back a picture that I destroyed a long time ago. Somebody he loved that I didn't want him to have. And forgave him a little, I guess.

[mistconduct]

Wow. That took balls.

What'd he do?

[patheticvillain]

He said he wasn't mad, and I'm always his brother no matter what. But I don't think he's been mad for a long time. It was just me.

[mistconduct]

Can I still think he's a creep, or are we all on the forgiving Barron train?

[patheticvillain]

[Cassel smiles and reaches out his hand.]

He's still a creep. You can think and do whatever the hell you want.

[mistconduct]

[Grinning, Chris takes Cassel's hand in his, squeezing it]

Cool.

...So what'll you be doing when I go back?

[patheticvillain]

Um, kicking ass. Making sure Zane's head doesn't explode. Building a shrine to you in the closet.

Trying to figure out how I'm going to do this warden thing, mostly.

[mistconduct]

Yeah, probably a good idea not to watch Zane's head explode.


Same here. Shit's pretty fucked if the Admiral lets us be wardens.

[patheticvillain]

I'm kind of half thinking we're going to be awesome and half terrified we're gonna blow the place up.