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patheticvillain) wrote2013-08-31 08:04 pm
patheticvillain) wrote2013-08-31 08:04 pm
twenty-three ➢ spam + voice
spam } barron
[It's really, really tempting to half-ass this, once Cassel gets up the nerve to finally do it. He's made the pictures without talking to his warden or his friends or anybody. He hasn't asked for validation; he doesn't need it. It makes him uncomfortable, but he knows he has to. He knows this is the right thing to do.]
[When he knocks on Barron's door, there's a light sweat on his palms in his black gloves, and he's moving an envelope nervously from one hand to the other. Inside, there are three photos, each with a handwritten note on the back.]
[One of himself - This is Cassel Sharpe. He's your little brother, and he loves you.]
[The second one - This is Prefect. He's your warden, and he loves you.]
[And the last one - This is Daneca Wasserman. She was your girlfriend, and you love her.]
later } kon
[He's subdued when he comes to find Kon. Mostly he just doesn't want to be alone right now - doesn't want to think about his family, or anybody's family. Maybe they can train or play with Patches or something.]
[Knocking on Kon's door, he shuffles his feet and shoves his hands in his pockets. No idea what's just happened, besides the obvious.]
later still } zane
[Now his hands are trembling. All of him is trembling. He feels weird, like this is some kind of nightmare that won't look like one until, abruptly, it does.]
[He raps loudly and arrhythmically at Zane's door, his covered knuckles stuttering on the stone.]
Zane. Zane! I need to talk to you. Please open up.
and finally } public/voice
[More than anything, Cassel sounds stunned. Not happy, not yet. Just baffled. It's been a long day.]
So, uh. I just graduated. And I'm staying.
[Long . . . pause.]
That's kind of it.
[It's really, really tempting to half-ass this, once Cassel gets up the nerve to finally do it. He's made the pictures without talking to his warden or his friends or anybody. He hasn't asked for validation; he doesn't need it. It makes him uncomfortable, but he knows he has to. He knows this is the right thing to do.]
[When he knocks on Barron's door, there's a light sweat on his palms in his black gloves, and he's moving an envelope nervously from one hand to the other. Inside, there are three photos, each with a handwritten note on the back.]
[One of himself - This is Cassel Sharpe. He's your little brother, and he loves you.]
[The second one - This is Prefect. He's your warden, and he loves you.]
[And the last one - This is Daneca Wasserman. She was your girlfriend, and you love her.]
later } kon
[He's subdued when he comes to find Kon. Mostly he just doesn't want to be alone right now - doesn't want to think about his family, or anybody's family. Maybe they can train or play with Patches or something.]
[Knocking on Kon's door, he shuffles his feet and shoves his hands in his pockets. No idea what's just happened, besides the obvious.]
later still } zane
[Now his hands are trembling. All of him is trembling. He feels weird, like this is some kind of nightmare that won't look like one until, abruptly, it does.]
[He raps loudly and arrhythmically at Zane's door, his covered knuckles stuttering on the stone.]
Zane. Zane! I need to talk to you. Please open up.
and finally } public/voice
[More than anything, Cassel sounds stunned. Not happy, not yet. Just baffled. It's been a long day.]
So, uh. I just graduated. And I'm staying.
[Long . . . pause.]
That's kind of it.
Private
Why don't you just let him decide?
Private
I guess it doesn't really matter, I'd probably wind up following him anyway if he lets me.
Private
Private
[Prefect, are you really whinging this hard in Cassel's graduation post?]
Sorry, Comrade. I'm grateful for the gesture, and I hope you feel pride in yourself. You deserve it.
Private
[Keep whinging!]
I took someone who loved Barron away from him. Now I'm giving him two back. It doesn't make up for it, but you don't get to decide if he loves you. He decides that.
Private
[There's something in his voice, like, a weird, anxious tension. Like this is all too hard for him to cope with.]
Cassel, I'm not normal.
[A deep and complex explanation of why he doesn't want to attempt to date Barron. Weirdly, Prefect literally wouldn't have been this straightforward with his anxieties scant days before, because he has a responsibility to try and trick inmates into thinking that his problems are all in the past and not current.]
Private
Private
For now, Comrade, I think I'll just accept that he clearly knows and that there's nothing either of us can do about it.
Anything else can just wait until he graduates.
Private
You say it like a sentence. There's nothing you can do about it - like it's a curse.
It's not, man. It's a gift.
Private
[Pause.]
Comrade, people have asked me to leave with them before. Friends, people who loved me. Some people who I promised I would follow one day. Just to meet them again.
I said no to people who I cared very much for because even though they were my dear friends, I didn't want to be stuck with them.
I'm not saying that Barron doesn't like me, or doesn't care about me, but he's been stuck with me for years already. If he wants to run away and never see me again then I can't hold it against him, but that won't make it any less terrible.
Private
I stuck my foot all the way down my throat a couple months ago, and now I'm going to go somewhere crazy with somebody beautiful, and I never thought it'd happen but it did anyway. Despite everything.
It's better to trust that somebody won't hurt you if you give them the chance, you know?
Private
[Is what's going to hurt me.
Dead certain inevitability. That he's not going to win.]
Private
I know how to trust, now.
Private
[So why would he do it? Although Prefect kind of stops himself here, and there's a little sigh because this? This is the Factory talking.]
Disregard that, Comrade. That's one of those voices I'm supposed to be ignoring.
Private
If he graduates, it's up to him what job he takes. He's not just a Sharpe anymore.
Private
Private