thirty-six ➢ video

[patheticvillain]

Okay, everybody, I realize we're all busy, busy people with busy, busy prison lives, but there's something important that needs addressing, and that is: I need my beauty sleep.

Which means I can't keep working double shifts in the gym.

Which means one or two of you assholes should come help me out.

Bored inmates get priority over bored wardens, prerequisites include being able to Windex stuff, and if you try to stab me in the back I'll turn you into a fish.

Comments

[rhapsody_in]

Yes it is. Everyone knows what it means to wash a window.

[notsoneedy]

Are you taking bets on this or something?

[patheticvillain]

Oh my god, fine, Semantics Queen. You need to be able to wash a window.

[patheticvillain]

[He just puts his finger to his lips conspiratorially. Shhh.]

[rhapsody_in]

Hey, watch yourself. I'm the Semantics Queen, not the Appreciating-Sarcasm Queen.

[notsoneedy]

Riiight.

[patheticvillain]

Wow, it almost sounds like you're doubting me. That's hurtful.

[patheticvillain]

What kind of queen doesn't appreciate sarcasm?

[notsoneedy]

Come on, you've only just met me. Surely my opinion isn't even worth that much yet?

[patheticvillain]

Your opinion's more valuable than stars, Needy.

[notsoneedy]

Oh god, you are so full of it.

[patheticvillain]

It took you this long to figure that out?

[rhapsody_in]

The haughty kind. Now, no sarcasm or it's off with your head.

[notsoneedy]

No. Just this long to confirm it.

[imfollowinghim]

It get you a lot of traction?

[patheticvillain]

Thank god, I was worried I was losing my touch. I'm pretty sure I have an award around here for 'Most Full of It Barge Graduate'.

[notsoneedy]

Still the winner and champion.

[She switches tones slightly, though, more thoughtful.]

So, you were here first as an inmate, then? And you decided to stay?

[patheticvillain]

Yep. Is the next question gonna be why?

[patheticvillain]

Yikes. Whatever happened to 'a cat can look at a king'?

[patheticvillain]

Some. But not from the people I want traction with.

[rhapsody_in]

I'm not a king. Woman, not man. Women are wondrous, mysterious, volatile, and magical creatures, who should be treated not only with respect but with reverence, perhaps even awe. Now go polish my crown. [She likes him.]

[patheticvillain]

Well, I know that already. I've met a girl, like, ever.

Can I polish it with Windex?

[rhapsody_in]

Yes. Let's see if it's as good as you say.

private

[advocacy]

Cassel! That's not--

[She's blushing, but completely trying to pretend that she's not even as she purses her lips and tries to be a little mad. It's hard to be a little mad though when you're embarrassed, so she drops it with a sigh.]

Yeah, he helped. He just listened and by some small miracle, I didn't flip out at him too bad.

[imfollowinghim]

That's too bad.