thirty-six ➢ video

[patheticvillain]

Okay, everybody, I realize we're all busy, busy people with busy, busy prison lives, but there's something important that needs addressing, and that is: I need my beauty sleep.

Which means I can't keep working double shifts in the gym.

Which means one or two of you assholes should come help me out.

Bored inmates get priority over bored wardens, prerequisites include being able to Windex stuff, and if you try to stab me in the back I'll turn you into a fish.

Comments

[notsoneedy]

Yeah, that sounds better.

So is that they way everything goes here? It needs a warden to run it and then inmates get stuck being drafted to fill ranks?

[patheticvillain]

Nah. I'll get wardens to do it if nobody steps up. I could probably badger some people into doing it just by saying I'll stop whining if they help.

But I liked working in the gym when I was an inmate. It broke up the endless bullshit nothingness.

[notsoneedy]

Guess no one ever tried using the equipment to bludgeon each other.

[patheticvillain]

Not yet. There's always a first time.

[He seems extremely cheerful about this.]

[notsoneedy]

Are you taking bets on this or something?

[patheticvillain]

[He just puts his finger to his lips conspiratorially. Shhh.]

[notsoneedy]

Riiight.

[patheticvillain]

Wow, it almost sounds like you're doubting me. That's hurtful.

[notsoneedy]

Come on, you've only just met me. Surely my opinion isn't even worth that much yet?

[patheticvillain]

Your opinion's more valuable than stars, Needy.

[notsoneedy]

Oh god, you are so full of it.

[patheticvillain]

It took you this long to figure that out?

[notsoneedy]

No. Just this long to confirm it.

[patheticvillain]

Thank god, I was worried I was losing my touch. I'm pretty sure I have an award around here for 'Most Full of It Barge Graduate'.

[notsoneedy]

Still the winner and champion.

[She switches tones slightly, though, more thoughtful.]

So, you were here first as an inmate, then? And you decided to stay?

[patheticvillain]

Yep. Is the next question gonna be why?

[notsoneedy]

I don't know. Should it be? [She's frowning, but it's not an angry frown.]

[patheticvillain]

It can be if you want. People've asked me before. It doesn't scare me anymore.

[It doesn't scare him to admit that he's been scared, either. But she seems confused, like having to choose is putting too much pressure on her. He wonders if he should just make the decision for her, just tell her.]

[Instead he grins and cocks his head, waiting to see what she'll decide.]

[notsoneedy]

[She can tell that he's waiting for her. That it...sort of seems to be a challenge.]

Okay...why? Why did you decide to stay? Or come back, or whatever. However you wanted to put it.

[patheticvillain]

[He is satisfied with her choice, and tries to answer as completely as he can - within limits. She deserves it.]

Stay. I'd say stay. Because I never went back, not even to say goodbye. I just stayed here.

The reason is because this is the first place I ever felt like I could be a real person. Everybody here's so fucked up I barely even register. It's kind of a nice change from back home, where I'm kind of illegal just for existing.

That and because I made family here. But that's kind of trite, I guess. I wouldn't have believed it if someone told me, back when I was as new as you are.

[notsoneedy]

It is pretty hard to believe.

[She sounds wry, though, not angry or disbelieving.]

[patheticvillain]

Do you believe the part about feeling real here? Or do you think I'm crazy?

[notsoneedy]

I believe that...things are really different here. That people are different. I've seen that for myself.

I already know I feel less crazy here than I did back in my own world. People believe in more things.

[patheticvillain]

I mean, people'll still call you crazy here. But usually they don't mean it, or they're not used to this place yet. There are people here who're from worlds without any magic at all, where people are just people.

Then there's people like me, who come from somewhere that magic's just a thing everybody knows about. Either way, in the end, we don't have to hide or lie. It took me forever to get that.

[notsoneedy]

I'm glad that I don't have to lie. I wasn't doing that anyway; I just got really sick of nobody believing me.