thirty-six ➢ video

[patheticvillain]

Okay, everybody, I realize we're all busy, busy people with busy, busy prison lives, but there's something important that needs addressing, and that is: I need my beauty sleep.

Which means I can't keep working double shifts in the gym.

Which means one or two of you assholes should come help me out.

Bored inmates get priority over bored wardens, prerequisites include being able to Windex stuff, and if you try to stab me in the back I'll turn you into a fish.

Comments

[rhapsody_in]

What's Windexing?

[patheticvillain]

. . . I guess I shouldn't be surprised that that's a question.

Windex is like soap for windows. To clean off smudges and shit. You spray it on glass and clean the glass with a cloth. That's Windexing. I Windex, you Windex, he/she/it Windexes . . .

[rhapsody_in]

Why didn't you just say you wanted someone to wash the windows?

[patheticvillain]

Because that's not how you say it.

[rhapsody_in]

Yes it is. Everyone knows what it means to wash a window.

[patheticvillain]

Oh my god, fine, Semantics Queen. You need to be able to wash a window.

[rhapsody_in]

Hey, watch yourself. I'm the Semantics Queen, not the Appreciating-Sarcasm Queen.

[patheticvillain]

What kind of queen doesn't appreciate sarcasm?

[rhapsody_in]

The haughty kind. Now, no sarcasm or it's off with your head.

[patheticvillain]

Yikes. Whatever happened to 'a cat can look at a king'?

[rhapsody_in]

I'm not a king. Woman, not man. Women are wondrous, mysterious, volatile, and magical creatures, who should be treated not only with respect but with reverence, perhaps even awe. Now go polish my crown. [She likes him.]

[patheticvillain]

Well, I know that already. I've met a girl, like, ever.

Can I polish it with Windex?

[rhapsody_in]

Yes. Let's see if it's as good as you say.