fourteen ➢ video + various private messages

[patheticvillain]

[Video clicks on: Cassel looks decidedly calm, leaned back against the white wall of his bedroom. Which he's not, but he's been thinking about this for a while - especially after fourth wall day - and he wants to pick people's brains.]

I never finished high school. This is not a political science lesson. Don't call me on my basic misunderstanding of the democratic process. I just have some questions.

Where I come from, people who can do [the briefest of pauses] magic are illegal. Or - performing it's illegal. And it has been for a hell of a long time. The problem is that you don't know if you can do it or not until it manifests, all by itself. You don't know if you can do it until you've already done it, by which time you're already a criminal. Surprise!

I don't know the order of history where you people are from. But for us, these laws have been in place for, like, a hundred years. Which is when things started getting bad. Some big-deal government asshole in a suit and tie tells you you're a criminal for doing something you can't help doing, I guess you just think: sure. Why not. I'll be a criminal.

Explain the point of this to me, somebody. Do people really not think this shit through? Maybe people just really want to have a bad guy. I'm okay with that answer. [He kind of believes it himself.] I'd just really like to take a survey, since nobody's asked a moral question for 0.5 seconds and I haven't had the pleasure.

[He goes to switch off the feed, and then remembers something.]

Oh, and if anybody else has similar crap to share, yadda yadda. We're building an environment of mutual un-der-stan-ding on this cruise. [Eyeroll, and feed cut.]

filter | kon + charles

I'd like to get started on this memory thing. Whenever you both have time. Kon said it was cool but he wants to sit in.

private | zane

You know that feeling like you're about to do something incredibly stupid? I have that. [He's so pissed B(]

Comments

Private

[godsays]

Killing him becomes hurting him back. Temporarily.

Is it worth it?

Private

[patheticvillain]

No. I really wish it was. But ultimately it's not me he's hurting. Other than by treating me like I'm an idiot.

Pride's not worth killing for. [Probably. He's just headinhands right now.]

Private

[godsays]

What he did was wrong.

Is there a way to stop wardens? There should be.

Private

[patheticvillain]

I don't know. He didn't hurt him. Not really. He just humiliated him.

The thing is, for Chris I think that's about as bad. To him, pride's definitely worth killing for. I don't know. I can't decide if I should talk to him about it or not.

But if there is a way to do something, I want to do it right. Not like he did it. I want to be bigger than that. [Which, frankly, is a surprise even to himself.]

Private

[godsays]

Me too.

Would Rorschach listen?

Private

[patheticvillain]

I don't know. I don't understand how he thinks. He doesn't make sense to me.

Private

[godsays]

Maybe it has to be Chris. Maybe we don't have... grounds.

Private

[patheticvillain]

Maybe.

I'm still angry. Nobody gets to speak to you like that, or about him.

Private

[godsays]

I didn't like him already.

[ He is angry, again. Emotional. ]

Private

[patheticvillain]

I didn't like him either. Now I think I hate him.

Can we go for a walk or something? Do anything? This sucks.

Private

[godsays]

Do you want me to make you less angry?

[ This is a genuine question, and the first time he has posed it to Cassel.

He has zinc now. And brass. ]

Private

[patheticvillain]

[That - is not actually what he meant. He's not sure if Zane misinterpreted or if he's offering. So he hesitates.]

It would help. But you don't have to. I really just meant a walk.

[Because Zane's not a tool.]

Private

[godsays]

I know. I offered because - I thought it might help. Thinking comes easier when you're not angry. And because Charles told me he wanted me to ask before I used Soothing on anyone, and I want to be worth being trusted.

[ Even if it frustrates him to take it slow. ]

Want me to come to your cabin? We can take a walk.

Private

[patheticvillain]

It would help. I'd - yes. Please.

Yeah. I'm here. Whenever you have a minute. [Which basically means soon, please.]

Private

[godsays]

[ He'll go ahead and let himself in to your room, then, Cassel. Hi. ]

Private

[patheticvillain]

[The second Zane's through the door, he's getting a hug. A big, tight emotional boy hug. Cassel is just really happy to see you okay.]

Hi.

Private

[godsays]

[ He hesitates because it's unexpected, not because he doesn't want it.

He might take a second or two to hug Cassel, but it's no less tight. ]

Hi.

[patheticvillain]

Thanks.

For coming. [And stuff.]

[He pulls away after a minute, grinning up at him. He already feels a little better, not being alone.]

[godsays]

It turned out others were... feeling my feelings.

Want to go to the deck?

[patheticvillain]

That makes sense, considering.

[He nods at the door.] After you.

[godsays]

[ And he does lead the way.

He reaches out to touch Cassel's emotions. He isn't subtle. He pushes, slowly, at Cassel's anger. ]

[patheticvillain]

[There's a moment where he's tense, ready to bolt - maybe half a second before he remembers that he asked for this. And he remembers, too, that it helped last time. It helped a lot, before everything went wrong.]

[So he puts his hands in his pockets and nods, not at anything really, and he lets Zane help him.]

[godsays]

[ He's ready to stop if Cassel asks. Ready to stop the moment it looks like too much.

Instead, he Soothes, gently, and nudges Cassel towards the stairs. ]

[patheticvillain]

[Cassel walks a little ahead of him, up the stairs. He recognizes what's happening, though last time it was fear that was Soothed away. For a minute.]

[He feels a hundred times better already, and shoots Zane a look of thanks. Waits for him at the top of the stairs. This is one of those moments when he's not actually sure what he'd do if Zane weren't here. Not because of the Soothing, but because he's here.]

[godsays]

[ He follows, takes the last few steps with energy.

Once he reaches the rail, he realizes how much his mood has improved, recognizes the touch of something on his emotions. He burns copper immediately, flaring the metal and the shield that it brings. Only... whatever's Soothing him doesn't stop.

He looks sideways at Cassel.

Maybe it's not an artificial emotion after all. ]

Do you want to talk about Lila?