So, now that everybody's not infants anymore, we're leaving. For a while. Going to Chris's world and mine.

[Cassel looks the tiniest bit uncertain about this, glancing to Chris like you take this, I don't know what else to say.]

Yeah, so nobody blow up the ship while we're gone. Iris, can you watch the dogs? And Loki, you were an adorable kid and I'll bring back Oreos if you promise not to do anything stupid while I'm gone.

Anyway, we should be back in just a couple of days, hopefully [hopefully?? definitely?? help], at least in Barge time. So nobody break shit.

Oh, and we're kidnapping Scott.

Scottyyydog. Vamanos.


( ooc; cassel and chris are going to kick-ass land and then curse workers land. during their time in cassel's world they're going to be worked by cassel's mom to essentially switch personalities for a little while. more on this in return posts, which will be monday-ish! )

( cut for gift list! )

[Feed begins with a documentary-style camera effect with a touch of Blair Witch shake, tracking Chris as he walks (very, very quietly) down the hallway. He's clearly looking for something, and looks over his shoulder at the camera, speaking in a stage whisper and with an extremely shitty accent.]

G'day, mates. We're out here on the barge hunting for wild limeys.

[Turning to face front again, Chris waves his hand excitedly when he spots the target: the back of James Bond's head walking down the hall. Turning to face the camera, he speaks in a stage whisper, and also an extremely shitty accent.]

Crikey! We've spotted one now. Look at the size of him!

[A dramatic demonstrative gesture. James still seems totally oblivious.]

Now here's what we do to bring him 'round to heel. The Englishman is primarily known for its weakness to physical affection. So what me and my mate Sharpe here are going to do is come around from both sides of him and wrap him up in a disarming embrace.

[Abruptly he drops the accent and the posturing and waves at Cassel behind the camera.]

Okay let's fucking go. Leave the camera here.

[And Cassel rests it on the ground, angled up so it catches the action, namely both of them sneaking up behind James in total silence, until:]

Fucking attack hugs, shithead!

[--from Chris, at which point they both leap forward to suddenly hug James. Cassel scatters quickly, but Chris isn't so lucky, and the feed goes black with James grabbing him by the collar.]

( AND THE AFTERMATH. )

This has kind of moved past "calm before the storm" territory into "holy shit, what's happening". [Shockingly, Cassel does not look that bothered.]

You know what I think is really funny - everybody says, you know, the Admiral's an inscrutable dick but when bad things happen you all complain to him anyway. Has that ever changed anything? [He holds his hands up - white flag.] Just asking.

private | Kon

You know this economy thing is gonna cut down on your ability to use the carrot. Time for the stick?

private | Barron

Two questions.

private | Riddick

Hey, do you have a second? I want to pick your brain about something.

spam | Chris & open

[This boat's getting worse. And by worse, in a weird way, Cassel kind of means more interesting. It's not fun, but it conforms to his expectations. All the padding's being pulled away, and what's underneath is what's been underneath the whole time. The Barge was always a lie. The spa and the pub and the gym and the art room, they were wool. Officially pulled over everyone's eyes.]

[Except his. He expected this. Nobody's ever really looking to help him. And if Kon really believes they are, he's about to learn better. Something bad is gonna happen, something really bad, because something really bad always happens to Cassel. He's ready to laugh and spit in its face if he has to.]

[Which is why he's on deck right now, a Gitane dangling from his lip, the picture of calm. He'd be chain-smoking if he could, but since Kon won't get him a case, this is decent enough for now. This is a grand Cassel-style fuck you to the Admiral, as well as a little smoke therapy. If Lila was here - ]

[He chuckles through the smoke. Well, if Lila was here, the Admiral'd be dead. That's my girl.]

[Later: By now it's a matter of course to look out for Chris when he's ambling aimlessly around the boat. Now, with less to do, less to keep him occupied, Chris is just about the only other person here who doesn't infuriate him on a constant basis - other than Barron, sometimes, and Iris when she's not in warden mode - so when he gets bored out of his mind it's Chris's door he knocks on. Ostensibly to touch base on that whole poker face thing, but really just because.]

[Barge, say hello to Cassel wearing a shit-eating grin and lounging on his crappy boarding-school bed. He's got a piece of cardboard held face-away against his chest and the air of someone about to impart glory to the masses.]

So as a bunch of you just noticed, dying sucks. That's why most people don't make a habit of it. Lucky for us inmates, we're trapped here and free to die as many times as we can manage. [He pauses.] Or handle before going insane.

There's no reason to mope about it, though. Sure, it hurts. But it's also an opportunity to do something super fun with your fellow prisoners - which is good, because who doesn't like teambuilding?

Which is why your friendly neighborhood Red Mist and I came up with this.

[He turns the card around and displays it, Vanna White-style.] Death bingo. Middle square is a freebie, the death that brought you to the ship in the first place, which, by the way, can't be used on any of the other squares. Any Wardens who want to play will be one behind, but on the plus side, you have complete control over our lives!

Side note: it'd be cool to have more than one card to switch things up, so make your own, tell your friends if you have any, prizes to be determined.

[He salutes the camera and shuts the feed off.]

private | prefect

So was that a favor to my brother or what? He's really got you wrapped around his little finger.


( ooc; the bottom left corner says shooting lololol my handwriting is worse than i remembered )

[Cassel mostly sat in the dark during that mini-blackout, kicking the wall and looking as bored as possible even in the darkness. When it came back on, he started browsing through the feed, got nothing useful, and flopped back onto the bed. Welp. Time to say hi.]

That's really confidence-inducing. You know what happens in real prisons when the power goes out, right? Riots. Everything's electricity-powered, and when that fails, people run out of their cells and start beating on each other. Great first impression, Barge.

[He's not gonna say anything about how your hands are all naked, but your hands are all naked.]