[Feed begins with a documentary-style camera effect with a touch of Blair Witch shake, tracking Chris as he walks (very, very quietly) down the hallway. He's clearly looking for something, and looks over his shoulder at the camera, speaking in a stage whisper and with an extremely shitty accent.]

G'day, mates. We're out here on the barge hunting for wild limeys.

[Turning to face front again, Chris waves his hand excitedly when he spots the target: the back of James Bond's head walking down the hall. Turning to face the camera, he speaks in a stage whisper, and also an extremely shitty accent.]

Crikey! We've spotted one now. Look at the size of him!

[A dramatic demonstrative gesture. James still seems totally oblivious.]

Now here's what we do to bring him 'round to heel. The Englishman is primarily known for its weakness to physical affection. So what me and my mate Sharpe here are going to do is come around from both sides of him and wrap him up in a disarming embrace.

[Abruptly he drops the accent and the posturing and waves at Cassel behind the camera.]

Okay let's fucking go. Leave the camera here.

[And Cassel rests it on the ground, angled up so it catches the action, namely both of them sneaking up behind James in total silence, until:]

Fucking attack hugs, shithead!

[--from Chris, at which point they both leap forward to suddenly hug James. Cassel scatters quickly, but Chris isn't so lucky, and the feed goes black with James grabbing him by the collar.]

( AND THE AFTERMATH. )

public } away from harvey dent

So, after that surprisingly non-traumatic port, I have a non-philosophical question for all of you. I know this is rare, but hold your thanks until the end. It's actually not that interesting.

Book recommendations? I've got something like a month until that school thing starts, and I'm running out of ideas. First smartass to recommend Eat Pray Love gets some important item stolen off their person.

Also, James Bond is a terrible sailor. You heard it here first.

private } poison ivy

I want to know why you did what you did.

I know that it might not be my business, or that you might have some reason for doing it that won't make sense to me, but it's driving me nuts and I would just - really like to know. If that's okay.

And thanks, is the other thing.

private } zane

I fixed up the room. Can you come out yet?

spam } marsh

[Cassel makes his way to Marsh's room early in the morning with a covered birdcage, careful to carry it evenly and not jostle. He's toyed with the idea of just leaving it outside Marsh's room or breaking in, but ultimately has decided that if he does that the confusion factor might get too high.]

[Instead he knocks and waits ever-so-patiently for the door to be answered. At least for five to ten seconds, after which he sighs and lounges against the doorframe.]

private/voice } lark; 8/1

So a little bird told me you wanted to talk.