forty-five ➢ video

[patheticvillain]

So, I know she talked to some of you about this already. But I thought I'd make sure everybody knew, so nobody worries-- I--

Needy graduated. She didn't go home, yet, probably because her home's total bullshit [and he's pretty sure she's still wanted there??]. Sunny, haunted Beacon Hills, California was the destination of choice, for those of you who really need to know.

Anybody who wanted to say goodbye and didn't get a chance to, um, I can probably get a message to her. And by "I can get a message to her" I mean "I can have Iris get a message to her".

Comments

private

[patheticvillain]

No, you should be freaking out with me instead of being all fucking calm.

private

[mistconduct]

Your mom's gonna love me.

private

[patheticvillain]

She doesn't love anybody.

private

[mistconduct]

...Your mom's gonna tolerate me!

private

[patheticvillain]

. . . She might. I mean. I can honestly say she's probably never met anybody like you. You're so . . . relatively lacking in bullshit.

private

[mistconduct]

Hey, I could be full of bullshit if I wanted to be.

private

[patheticvillain]

It's not a bad thing. I mean, it's really weird, but it's not bad. It might just throw them off for long enough that we can firmly establish you as someone not to be fucked with. No one ever expects Totally Guileless Man.

private

[mistconduct]

I could be Scuba Man instead. Just show up wearing a diving suit, nobody could touch me.

Pun totally intended.

private

[patheticvillain]

They might just think that's a weird kink.

private

[mistconduct]

It is a weird kink. But it's also super important when it comes to protecting my ass.

private

[patheticvillain]

I'm gonna kill you for that pun.

private

[mistconduct]

Don't kill me. I'm too adorable to kill.

private

[patheticvillain]

Haven't you been proven wrong on that count, like, several times now?

private

[mistconduct]

Only by people who have a natural aversion to cuteness.

Which might be your family, I really don't know.

private

[patheticvillain]

I mean, I'm pretty adorable and they only sometimes like me, so.

private

[mistconduct]

Shit. On second thought I might be in serious amounts of trouble here.

private

[patheticvillain]

That's what I'm saying.

We'll come up with some kind of contingency plan. Super-reinforced gloves and plastic clothing with no holes in it. . . . And full-coverage face masks.

private

[mistconduct]

You think that'll work?

private

[patheticvillain]

I don't know if that'll work, but if we keep throwing ideas at the wall something's got to stick. Right?

private

[mistconduct]

Right.

God, I didn't know showing up at your house required a battleplan, though.

private

[patheticvillain]

Yeah. It kind of does.

I mean, do you think I'm overreacting?

private

[mistconduct]

I don't know. I never really knew your brother all that well, and the rest of your family...

It's all hearsay, really.

private

[patheticvillain]

Well, shit. I'd rather be safe and paranoid.

private

[mistconduct]

I mean, I'll admit some straight-up curiosity about your mom. She seems like somebody out of a young adult novel or something.

private LAUGHS FOREVER

[patheticvillain]

She does not.